Sunday, July 26, 2009

mantrimahodayji kripya dhyan dheejeyee!!

So finally the new government is kicking some dust in the business of rajneeti…Things have come a long way from Roti, Kapada aur Makaan...Nowadays they say Facebook, Twitter aur Orkut….You must have heard that government has decided to implement a scheme where every Indian would have a facebook profile by 2020. Based on your likes and dislikes the government would be able to directly reach out to the ‘basic needs’ of the people…Recently in a trial run I was the lucky recipient of a Padma Bhushan after they misread my crush for Padma Lakshmi in facebook!!

Well…well...I am loving this new government!!…First of all, it was so charming of Mamata to present her railway budget in French…. (My bad French, this is how it sounded though: railway projoct komittee has porformed in interest auf poor shoshity…*interrupted by someone*). And the resident retard was looking very upset and vociferously criticized Mamata’s decision to allocate funds for improving facilities in Patna by ignoring Bihar!! There was even a huge hue and cry when she announced her decision to make Howrah a world class station coz according to the MP’s from Bengal, it was already a world class station modeled around Leningrad 1935….

However point to be noted, the Railway budget has always been like this. We have had instances when the railway minister would promise a Jan Shatabdi faster than an Airplane!! The Air India officials were apparently late in realizing about whom the minister was talking about.. But to give due credit to the airline they have an impeccable and friendly service modeled on which are the now famous Guantanamo bay receptionist trainee program...

Anyways the bottom-line is our govt rocks…We have a prime minister who can attend the G8 summit and invite the Italian prime minister to participate in Rakhi Sawant ka swaymvar considering his profound interest in such matters. Probably he stands a fair chance in the competition. Unless Sarkozy comes into the picture!! It was apparently in a similar event called Carla Bruni ka Swaymvar that the gentleman was drawn into and the inevitable happened…

And I think our choice of ministers is amazing…In a conflict situation, imagine enemy soldiers rounding up people in South Block and they would haul up a paavam looking A.K Antony and shout....

‘Tell us where is your defence minister!!’

He arguably is a defence minister who least resembles a defence minister…Infact he can never look like a menacing defence minister...Along with Chidambaram who with his flowing Tambaram dhoti look like brothers owning a chain of Saravana Bhavans!!

Though some of the ministries amuse me…Are we the only county which has got a ministry of steel …so that is like racism to Aluminum eh….and a Ministry of Natural Gas?!!…hic...well it helps to have a Murali ‘Deo’ to take care of it!! phew...

But unlike the gents the woman politicians are a league apart…The lady from TN, The firebrand leader from Bengal and the statue aunty from UP….We don’t really have a boring woman politician in our country unless we include Prathiba Patel….I mean definitely Mamataji is not the kind of aunty who would make rasgulla’s in the evening when you come back from school and neither can you imagine Jaya aunty making a nice idli-sambhar breakfast on Pongal day….I think the three together would make a nice movie like Charlie’s Angels…

And ofcoz in the parliament you could see the commies sitting like those college guys with 10 supplies and 3 suspensions…you know the rebels who are the verge of getting expelled from college and yet trying hard to look threatening…There is absolutely no prakash in Prakash Karat’s face these days…Probably some Lavlin bulbs at the party office might brighten him thinks..

Btw the Lok Sabha resident psychiatrist has mentioned that the civil supplies minister is in depression over the absence of any depression over Bay of Bengal…The poor monsoon has apparently come as a rude shock to the rodents in FCI godown which for long has never been consumed by humans.

Information and broadcasting minister has banned ‘Harry Potter and The Half-Blood Prince’ for insulting anemic people in the country. It was after J. K Rowling intervened and convinced the ministry about Indian culture the movie espouses was the movie cleared. Though the movie is expected to face stiff competition from another movie which again espouses Indian culture called Kambakkht Ishq!

Well keeping asides such little differences...It is truly heart warming to see the bonhomie among the ministers.. Little differences are resolved amicably...Even though Verappa loves moily food he would gladly forego it if Jaipal is not reddy for it. Thick friends they are!!

Oh…Just saw this message flashing in the news...

“I am feeling very bored ---Kasab”

Apparently Pranabda felt very sympathetic to the plight of the poor chap…He arranged for 24 hrs streaming of his eloquent presentation of the finance budget and a detailed analysis of the same in 1700 slide PowerPoint by Chidambaram…. Pakistan has unilaterally agreed to stop state sponsored terrorism after the authorities watched in horror what their citizens were being subjected to …

P.S. Listening to Vanessa Paradis


scorpiogenius said...

Thoroughly enjoyable!

You could've left our poor Antony alone. He was even softer to his bitter enemies who were trying to pull his head out. Remember the always-smiling face he had been giving to his would-be nemesis Karunakarji when he was CM?

ROFL on the Gwantanobay receptionist! and the cultural background if Khambakth Ishq.. :))

Bindhu Unny said...

Didn't spare anyone! Sarcasm at its best!

Rahul Nair said...

good post...
"I am feeling very bored " Kasab would have twittered.. hehe

Prasoon said...

Kasab and Pak in question - awesome awesome. And that Charlie's angels - hehehe! This time you didn't bring in many from Kerala - how come missed out on Tharoor? :P

Its "mantrimahoday" btw. Isn't that what you intended?

mathew said...

hehe...pavam anthonychayan...i think he brings a homely face to the military establishment..;-D


but seriously..i can believe he really said that!!

Tharoor is too nice to make a crack on..;-D
and thanks for correcting the horrible hindi i used..;-P

Ordinary Guy said...

classic aliya!!!!!! :P

Abhi said...

As always awesome. The sarcasm was too good, especially the one's on the mallu ministers :).

Classic mathew

sandeep said...

had a good hearty laugh (almost rotf) after a long time :) thnx for lightning my otherwise dull day :)

Sakshi said...

Ha was imagining the PM on the Rakhi show. I think I should make my husband read your political posts as he is the one interested in politics and am just a puppet and clown.

little by little , bit by bit said...

what a day in the parliament!


wanderlust said...

Only you can come up with these classics.
"Recently in a trial run I was the lucky recipient of a Padma Bhushan after they misread my crush for Padma Lakshmi in facebook!!"

Happy Kitten said...


that was a fantastic read....

Nona said...

Excellent post! You sure pack many punches in just one line. :)

Mishmash ! said...

from start to finish, it is deft'ly a typical spark-y post.... Was chuckling at the end of each para..... Sherikkum enjoy cheythuu.... Am still smiling :) thx:)

mathew said...

@Ordinary Guy
thanks dude..

glad that you enjoyed it..

funny..and at the same time

hahhaa..i love politics..though not the politicians..:-D

@little by little

hehe...thanks a lot!!

@Happy Kitten
thank you..and thanks for visiting..


@Mishmash !
enthaa cheyaa..rasthirykaare kondu thottu..:-P

Usha said...

lol @ our charlie's angels!

and yeah, kasab would be begging for death, if only that's done to him!