Sunday, October 29, 2006

neo-realistic cooking!!

Long long ago there is used to be good food...good wine...and the familiar burp that signaled the finale of a sumptuous it sounds like one of those fairy experiments with truth is taking its toll…

Due to certain unforeseen circumstances I have begun to not talking about a silly tea or lowly omelets…am talking about real full fledged all grandeur and decoration. I proudly declare that I have become a Melam certified culinary professional (MCCP)... Mind it the Microsoft certificates are not in vogue these days!!

Now something for guys who ever thought cooking was difficult. It aint anymore. Introducing to you the new cook from Bavaria…”Korah”… Bringing exotic dishes from germanipuram and hamburgpur….You can tune in for the live video telecast in CNN ..@ Korah King live…or in ABC @ Desperate cooks!!

After cut throat research and analysis using the latest software’s, I found out what really irks us is that the cooking guide book says...put salt to taste... For god sake why don’t they write like this...

1) Take a beaker and empty the salt packet in it.
2) Measure 15 mg of salt using a electronic weighing machine
3) Transfer it to the vessel in which we are cooking.

That makes life a lot easier for us...So next time I write a cook book you can expect a better deal. And the dish for the day is finkenwerder pork dipped in Maui Mango BBQ Sauce …and a full course meal that goes with it...

The following is version 1.1 of the gastronomic delight...Its exotic coz it tastes a lot different from conventional dishes and has the extraordinary ability to test the limit of your organs...neways just like in old chemistry record book, here it goes..

Materials required. Pork..1+ 1 kilo... (The extra kilo is to compensate due to high probability that the dish might get over burned)
Onion (as much as u can get)
Meat masala (buy only its brand ambassador.. :-))
Oil..(cooking oil..not kerosene if any americans read my blog)

Guess this will do..In case we need anything more I ll say in later stages.

Make cubes of 1.5 cm * 1.5 cm by cutting the meat and keep it aside..Raw meat can be really yucky..u can wear gloves if u are allergic..
Start cutting onions..Place the knife at an angle of 45 degree on the outer contour of the onion and start iterative to and fro motions along with a simultaneous lateral movement at a speed of 1 mm every 2.5 seconds... Stop when it really starts irritating the eyes and you cant bear any further the emotional outpour that is overwhelming now.

Get some ginger garlic and green chilly...Slice it if u are really interested...Now mix the masala with the meat ...
Measure 200 ml of oil in a beaker and heat it in some vessel that is near where you are standing..
Put the onions..garlic and stuff and move out of the kitchen for a while..Unless you want to cough for a long long time...Its safer to keep the windows open unless you want to get killed by aroma poisoning.

Come back after catching up with the latest Gwen Stefani song in MTV.

Don’t be surprised if u don’t find anything in the vessel. The mix might have just got burnt and vanished in thin such a scenario , you have no choice but to do the same process again …Now put the meat and some water in the mix..Add salt if you want...Neways it aint going to make a big difference...

Its time to relax after the exhaustive procedure. Come back to the kitchen whenever u feel like..And the delicious finkenwerder pork is ready!!..You can pat yourself on the back and appreciate the aroma of the exotic dish you have just made..So after that put some rice in the pressure cooker..and heat it up with water ..Stop it when u hear some whistle or something(it sounds like when a eve teaser has to whistle at a score at the same time)..And finally make some pappads to complete the grand meal..The pappad may look brown and burnt..but they are really tasty and nutritious..

Finally the part that’s really important..Decorate the dish…put some unused tomato or green chillies around the plates..grab any leaf that’s popping near your window at home..dip it in water to make it look clean and the keep it in the plate along with the tomatoes..Keep as many forks and knives you have at home around the plate to make it look chic...

If the dish you have made looks something like below then you have cleared the beginner level of my certification programme.

Ladies and gentlemen .the dish is ready and it makes a awesome meal for guest coming at your place. Guaranteed that they never be back home again. :-)

Statutory warning
Its always safer to try the dish on someone else in first attempt. Don’t panic if the consumer shows any distorts in the face or convulsions. Its part of the package..That gives the person a wholesome experience of culinary delight!

P.S I couldn’t help writing this after I made a meal and it was duly relished by a Brazilian who dropped at home at the right (this usage is debatable) time!!

mm..Not seen him in office off late!!

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

blog analysis..A P tharakkan report!!

I was tagged by Her Holiness Sri Sri or Sreemathi Silverine. I will be granted moksha when His Holiness Sri Sri bloggerdotcom publishes it without any hindrance…

1. Are you happy/satisfied with your blog, with its content and look? Does your family know about your blog?

I am quite happy with my blog. Analysis of my own blog was never part of my agenda. Infact I feel quite awkward weighing the pros and cons of my blog. For me the blog is just my thought process in alphabets…my family knows that I do blog. But then they don’t read it. I show Mom some of my articles but then am in a comfort zone when I see that they are not particular about reading all my crap!!

2. Do you feel embarrassed to let your friends know about your blog or you just consider it as a private thing?

A few of my friends know that I blog. But then most of my friends don’t bother a big deal about blogs. I don’t feel embarrassed to let my friends know, though I don’t want my friends to weigh me based on what I write in the blog. I would like to keep it as an outlet of my own free will. Cancerians play it safe…u know!!

3. Did blogs cause positive changes in your thoughts?

Yes. It definitely has given moments of laughter…introspection...Empathy...Sadness...Infact it can generate a whole gamut of emotions. Some blogs have really inspired me. Some others have given that fleeting moments of anger…Some still leave me happy and contended that world is after all a good place to live!! Just like some celebs are “media shy” I have always been “other-sex shy”…This place is a good place for folks of my ilk!! :)

4. Do you only open the blogs of those who comment on your blog or you love to go and discover more by yourself?

I am comparatively new to blog world. I used to blog hop when I started out. Of late I have restricted myself to a set of blogs which I frequent. Comments are definitely a boost. But then I read blogs for my own leisure.

5.What does visitors counter mean to you? Do you care about putting it in your blog?

I put the counter sometime back. But then I don’t frequent that site anymore…It has more to do with a feeling that It doesn’t matter neways!!! The initial curiousity about the search links folks use or my visitor stats have died down…

6. Did you try to imagine your fellow bloggers and give them real pictures?

Yeah I create a mental picture of the person. That is something that happens while reading the person’s blog. But then that changes for the same person when they write on different themes. I have visualised the same person as a nun as well as a hot shot kiddin..

7. Admit. Do you think there is a real benefit for blogging?

Yes, We have frank conversations. All those blocking points like sex...looks...caste...creed...whatever… is absent here. I think that’s the best part of blogging.
8. Do you think that bloggers society is isolated from real world or interacts with events?
It is isolated from the unreal world of show biz and fake camaraderie…fake etiquettes. If the real world is Page 3.Then blogger is Page 1!But then blogger is most of the time a small place in our day-to-day life.

9. Does criticism annoy you or do you feel it’s a normal thing?

I get annoyed in the beginning if it is unwarranted...The toughest part is to know the intent of the criticism…I don’t show the person that I get annoyed. And then I just think about it. Most of the time I try to find rational…

I haven’t received any cutthroat criticism in my blogs. Anyone dare do it…It is a veiled threat...hehehe…

10. Do you fear some political blogs and avoid them?

I often do read political blogs. Though social issue blogs interest me more. Political blogs sometimes get into unruly war of words that leaves a bad taste. I don’t frequent propaganda blogs…

11. Did you get shocked by the arrest of some bloggers?

Yeah.Those .5-volt shocks send shivers down my spine. Am not aware of bloggers getting arrested. On a serious note I ll say anyone one using blogs to harm anyone should be duly punished.

12. Did you think about what will happen to your blog after you die?

It will be institutionalised in the bloggers hall of fame and commemoratory parties will be held once a year to mark its death!!!..

13. What do you like to hear? What’s the song you might like to put a link to in your blog?

I have varied interests in music and I hear any language as long as it sounds good. Neways the song for the day is...this beatles song..hey jude..

Hey, Jude, don't make it bad
Take a sad song and make it bette
rRemember to let her into your heart
Then you can start to make it better

Hey, Jude, don't be afraid
You were made to go out and get her
The minute you let her under your skin
Then you begin to make it better.

And any time you feel the pain, hey, Jude, refrain
Don't carry the world upon your shoulders
Well don't you know that its a fool who plays it cool
By making his world a little colder

Hey, Jude! Don't let her down
You have found her, now go and get her
Remember, to let her into your heart
Then you can start to make it better.

So let it out and let it in, hey, Jude, begin
You're waiting for someone to perform with
And don't you know that it's just you, hey, Jude,
You'll do, the movement you need is on your shoulder

Hey, Jude, don't make it bad
Take a sad song and make it better
Remember to let her into your heart
Then you can start to make it better

I would love to pass this one to my friends…Angeline Jolie..Vidya Balan..Meg Ryan…yeah my celeb friends do blog. But then I visualised people like I said before!!!

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Eden Gardens....

Some snaps speak louder than words……..

A trip to the botanical gardens in Hamburg left me in doubt that "nature" is god’s own creation..There wasn’t symmetry or a pattern to speak of..The kaleidoscope of colors and shapes were random.Still it lent an air of perfection..In the maze of bits and bytes we see everyday ,we miss out on many things..I realized that when I got a glimpse of the artist in God!!

I have never been interested in flowers till now..I always associated them with girly- womanish “If I dare say so..”ideas and interests..But sometimes you have to set aside stereotypes and start admiring things..I bet these snaps nowhere comes close to seeing it in its own pristine environs ..

I don’t know the names of these flowers..Infact I am disgusted at those people who gave names like “Cycas revoluta” or “Welwitschia mirabilis” for flowers..They sound drab and not synchronous with beauty they radiate..

I guess better stop my crap and let you flow to the final snap..