Friday, August 25, 2006

million dollar tag!!

I got tagged by my pal Velu and am pretty sure he guessed right that am jobless these days. This tag was quite fun unlike the sadist foodie tag!!(Growling at one of my favourite bloggers silverine ;))…Am finding lot of fun surfing the blog world these days as it’s my only solace in office these days...Two of my roommates are leaving soon to their own destinies. One of em is going onsite and the other leaving job for higher studies…Am bit apprehensive of life ahead. It feels bad that all the fun is over and time to move on. Wish em good luck!!

I am thinking about: my trip home next week. It has been 3 months since last one and this time am getting 5 days off! Although I love to pretend that am not homesick, sometimes it gets into your head!!

I said: You got to get angry at your boss someday...Stop pretending!!

I want to: visit Leh and have a hot tea in the snow!!

I wish: Vidya Balan just drops by my place...sing that song from parineeta for me...get married...And have 2 kids...Hehehe...I am not overtly ambitious!! ;)

I wonder: god must be really intelligent..He just created man and woman. A third entity would have been confusing!!

I regret: I have psychologically manipulated myself not to regret on anything!

I hear: Blowing in the wind-Joan Baez. I start my day listening to it!!

I am: a box of chocolates!! Though few em are unappetizing!!

I dance: an exotic variety of Spanish tango with sensuous gyrations. It resembles vaguely with another art form called “dappankuthu” (Rajanikanth isthyle)

I sing: kidding eh?? It works as repellants at times!!

I cry: frankly really long time...But I feel like crying when I listen the song “Lukha Chuppi” from RDB...

I am not: the CIA mole who many think I am!!

I make with my hands: liquid bombs ;)...I don’t have a better answer

I write: anything that comes my mind..I dont have a hidden agenda or something!! ;)

I confuse: those multiple choice questions…Sometimes given a choice can be bad.

I need: 8 hours of sleep ever one dare mess with that..

And my favorite, random quotes are:

We can do no great things; only small things with great love.
--Mother Teresa

I'm tired of all this nonsense about beauty being only skin-deep. That's deep enough. What do you want an adorable pancreas?

"If fate does not make you laugh then you just don't get the joke"
-- Shantaram

The nice thing about meditation is that it makes doing nothing quite respectable."
-- Paul Dean

I pass this one to anyone who hasn’t taken up the tag yet!!

Monday, August 21, 2006

All those goofy corporate Jargon……

“Folks...We are ramping up the team and will be developing competencies catering to our clients…Guys...Lets gear ourselves for the work coming our way...Remember customer is the king!!”

Sounds familiar eh??? Yeah all Boss’s sound the same...the same iterative boring and suffocating lingo!! Two years in IT, I have learnt an entirely new language...The language of the glitzy chic rarified saaftware engineer! My “ayyos” (no exact translation but vaguely resembles “sigh”) and “ente ammachi” (“oh...My grandma” said like “blistering barnacles”) got replaced by “oops” and “ouch”!!

“Eh...rocking dude!!.Me gonna chill in pub this weekend!!”

I would have barely understood that 3 years back...Neways lemme (“oops” another of my new words...Oh still again) not digress from what I intent to write…Just curious to mention few jargon I have come across in recent years...


“The quality of being adequately or well qualified physically and intellectually”…yeah that’s what the dictionary says…No big deal man. It’s just that you should be competent to bluff on anything that comes your way say molecular biology or rocket science...You should have learned by now not to say “nay” to any job that comes your way…that’s competency... you just need to be have the bones to lie!!

Employee number

Oh...So you thought you were some big shot guy whose name would figure in the Forbes one day...Kidding eh??
Unless you are a Bill Gates or a Dell, you would in all probability be addressed all your life by that sweet romantic personal “employee number”. Poor you...Even crooks/thieves/robbers have stylish names. Visit any prison you will find a “Kaliya the one-eyed” or Al Capone or a “jack the ripper” but not a convict number 456!!

Client Visit

Okay. This is something really serious...this aint any laughing matter...You put your best dress that day...Shave your stubble that might have become unfashionable by then and try to look genius (even if you are otherwise)..All those Keira Knightley and Johnny Depp wallpapers become Windows XP or “Stonehenge”...You find people actually come to office at eight in the morning. You never knew that...Isn’t??...Lol!!...The client is given a rotten root of some old dying tree. Sure it’s given a nice varnish coating and a title...”Soul of Arising India”… Happy and satisfied he flies back home….Next year he comes again and checks out how big the little plant he had planted last time has grown!!


This is what it’s all about... That yonder dream of every code monkey...Its tough man. It needs all those good rapport with the boss...Talent to pretend to be busy…huge luck...And a little hard work!!! And you come back offshore and tell those mighty heavenly tales of nice times in Switzerland…Basically a place to dance to the tunes of your client and get that extra dough…And your Mom can finally say..”Oh...My son is in UK... He is a big shot out there”

DJ Night

DJ Pappu going to enthrall crowds!!!..Woosh comes the mail with those colorful backgrounds…Another Pappu/Tikku/mikku/Sick you!! All jobless guys/gals come and shake your legs and pretend to have a gala time... Weary people drink the potions called coke or Pepsi and come to office next day rejuvenated!!!junta sometime gets a date in hospital due to convolution of limbs that in turn was caused by excessive gyrations of party geeks!!


Sort of paradise for people who love to be busy without work... A time to increase top scores in your mobile. Start new hobbies like Solitaire and Pinball…Have coffee meetings more often and know colleagues “better”…Maybe write a book “100 ways to kill time”…Okay for girls , appreciating the embroidery of the latest Salwar-kameez in town.. This time is supposedly a time to reflect back on the past and anticipate the future. Though I usually fall asleep while reflecting back…!!


Okay... to those who have read till here I ll just finish of the list by mentioning the Morpheus in your official life. The list otherwise gets bigger and bigger…Believe me your boss is true always…All those silly jokes he cracks are actually hilarious...Don’t stop laughing until you are short of breath... Never ever feel free to question your boss... That’s the cardinal sin of all times...Okay and finally when your boss tells you to work on weekends you actually should beam a face as if u just got an ice-cream!!!

So folks...Today’s knowledge sharing session is over. ..Next team building sessions are to be configured as per requirements. Meet you all at the conference room next week to decide on the future course of action…Eh….am sounding like one of em!!!! :)

Thursday, August 17, 2006

Hoi polloi

Hatred of unholy fervor
Anger of fire and vigor
Tears of agony and sore
World couldn’t ask for more.

Vanity of dreams bygone
Unfulfilled desires galore
Gloom of melancholic yore
World couldn’t ask for more.

Pangs of hunger and torture
Insipid days of plunder
And those calls for war
World couldn’t ask for more

Hope and distant Shangri La
Holy Elixir so yonder
Freedom and peace that endure
World dreams for more
............for more....

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

abstract thoughts of a wobbly mind

Quote for the day..........
Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy

Yesterday evening I was watching this programme in NGC titled “Filthy Rich” and it left me with a temporary feeling of mediocrity. All those million dollar Yacht’s they own...All those Swarovski’s they wear. All those Armani’s. All those fine Swiss watches... It came as a rude shock to this “Idli-Vada, Bajaj chetak, buy one get one free” small town guy like me. My mundane vijaynagar was no match for the ravishing French Riviera (where my protagonist stays)!!I feel awfully short of dough in comparison with these well heeled obscenely rich high society folks!!! Yeah some time it strikes you that you are just one of em...the ordinary folks!!

Hey but u all filthy rich kids out there…

Should say you are missing out on a lot other things… …

You were born with the proverbial silver spoon and never got to see other real world...
You never had the pleasure of buying a cycle first. And then a bike...And then a small car. You never had a chance to dream big!!!! You never might have had Cold buttermilk after a sweaty bus ride! You ll never brave a queue for that ticket in a movie house and give a hurrah after managing one. Please don’t misunderstand this as any sort of self conviction or “running away from the truth” like many would like to put it as…

I ll probably remember my first plane ride because it might be my last as well. I ll be a mouth wide opened guy when I see a 100 storied skyscraper because I have never seen any with more than 20 before...I ll probably name my kids Appu or Anju rather than Phinnaeus or Apple (what weird names these Hollywood stars give)…I ll probably take a vacation in Ooty or Coorg rather than Malibu or the Venice…I ll definitely get worried about the two rupees hike in petroleum prices and shortage of onions in the market…I never knew there were so many kinds of coffee until I ventured of my lil home where I had only the plain humble “kaapi”…My friends say “Capachillo” never come close to our “kattan” (Black coffee we have back home)..I can’t but nod in agreement...

Weird games are the vogue these days… There are events in Uncle Sam country where people compete to eat the highest number of hot dogs...And its aired primetime…Inflated people rummaging in a basket full of hot dogs and gobbling em obscenely like mad dogs. And the junta out there was applauding the guy who just gobbled 54 hotdogs…Sad when I just couldn’t help thinking about the less privileged poverty struck people in Africa and Asia….Wish people were more considerate and sensible while showing such yucky programmes...

Its not that I have anything against the Rich. After all we all aspire to be that quintessential rich kid of the block. The trouble lies when wealth is flaunted nonchalantly without any consideration for fellow beings...When monstrous amount of money is spent on ridiculous things!! Am talking about those rich Arab lords who can put the devil himself to shame...Hey you rich folks listening!!

Am not advocating’s just that why cant folks be considerate at times. Warren Buffet did a really admirable job when he put his money in charity. ..Wasn’t that a great thing he did? It takes a brave man to part with his dough. Wish if all those listed in the Forbes did the same, the world would have been a better place to live…Yeah it wont happen though...still….

Meanwhile I wrote this because am absolutely peeved by people who show off!!

P.S On a lighter note if anyone got trouble spending money you know whom to ask for!! ;)