Sunday, February 25, 2007

Are you married to the idea of divorce??

Anjali has written in her blog about a incident which is often untold in most homes..Often not talked about because of the stigmas attached to it..What I want to write about is not a solution to the problem , just my take on the two school of thoughts evident from the blog and the comments I read..I wont claim that my perceptions are the right one, it is just the way i think...


A woman gets married to her wishes to a handsome bloke and starts living with him .They have a kid like any other normal household.But the hunky dory story goes awry once the husband turns out to be not that great after all..He isn’t the lovable hunk anymore and turns out to be a wife abuser..She is staying with him inspite of all the harrasments.The question is whether she should sign that document called divorce agreement and come back home with her kids…

Sanctity school of thought

Marriage is considered sacred…It is made in heaven and has to be ethereal not hampered by daily skirmishes that happens in households..Sacrifice and Forgiveness are what makes marriage survive.We have to make a marriage work at all costs irrespective of the differences.In lighter words it is a system which should work even if the hardware and software are not compatible with each other…

My two cents

It so happens that the buzzwords sacrifice and forgiveness looks quite nice until you are not bearing the brunt..I appreciate the concern you have for holding a marriage as it is not poker that we are playing in a marriage..

But how long can you forgive and sacrifice??Is there any time limit prescribed for it??Is it like once you are abused three times, divorce is morally right??Or is it like you suffer all throught your life..go to church and pray hoping things will change??

We think like this because we are taught that divorce is a evil that should be avoided at all cost , something that the church abhors…hey cmon the girl is not married to the church..She has married the goddman guy..I may sound like a womanizer. But I don’t care if I sound so..When you say that you have to forgive some one..It is not one side of the tale..You forgive someone when the other person is guilty of fault and repenting..But what many of you advocate is implied forgiveness bearing all the brunt however hard it is .

'An Ace is Ace' school of thought

It is in black and white .Woman aren’t anymore “take-care-of-household” machines.They believe in work sharing and rigid segregation of personal and professional life.Seperate bank accounts for the husband and wife and basically everything contradictory to the concept that husband and wife becomes one after marriage.People following this school of thought are generally classified as feminist..
Fierce independence is the driving factor for many of em.

Marriage is a contract that has to be respected with heavy penalty clauses if they aren’t followed.. very much business like.

My two cents

I appreciate the talks of equality and work sharing.But aren’t we taking the concept of “independence” a bit too far.In that case why do we need a marriage.??Wouldnt some clinic which creates test tube babies do the trick?? I admit that wife beating is a heinous crime that doesn’t come under the perview of “forgive-and-suffer-along” school of thinking..Such cases have to be legally dealt with.But there are cases where marriages break up due to silliest of ego issues..Many of you take the concept of no-nonsense approach without thinking about the future..Every household problem is not a cancer where only amputation works…some can be treated with medicines..Divorce is the last resort.
It might be a easy way to end things..but the kids maynot necessarily think like you. The society is hard on you however reasonable your case is.. All those pro-liberation organisation wont be besides you till the end...

Collating the two school of is a tough choice to make..A choice which you have to make based on your priorites…based on how you look life at...and that is a personal choice…

Thursday, February 22, 2007

Pankaj..Bata and the French ladies...

Some managers never grow up. For some people it happens out of the blue that the brain decides..’I cant handle it anymore.. Quit.. No more value addition!’. Freeze…stop growing…'

Recently I overheard the story about this high profile manager talking to another equally dumb client manager. It often happens that when you talk to foreigners they find it hard to pronounce names. Tell them to say 'Venkatapathy Raju'..You will see a amazing variety of ‘naatyashastrams’ and ‘bhavams’ on display…So this client friendly manager in order to make life easy for this Mr. Hamilton began spelling his name. Somehow this 'one of a kind desi manager' managed his sur name though he struggled a bit because he couldn’t think of a country which started with ‘D’..
Already exhausted after testing his brains to the limit he started of with his second name..

P for Pankaj’

Rumors say we lost a client after this disastrous display of spelling proficiency..

By the way the Scripps spelling bee contest where you see kids effortlessly spell words like 'chiaroscurist' and 'staphylococci' gives me those mediocrity blues…How do they comprehend spelling them when the guy in the opposite chair tells him that the word is of Spanish origin and with that tinge of Chinese influence .

For something as simple as ‘Xbox’. The quizzer will come up with pronunciations like


By then even the guy who invented it would be grappling with the manual to check how he had spelled it..

And if you noticed recent winners of the spelling contest are expat kids who are from Andhra. When you have named the kid like ‘Sathya Naryana Venkatasubramania Bhaama Reddy’ the kid is destined to be a spelling whizkid.,..We poor malayalees often don’t get to learn all the alphabets by the time this Andhra kid has by hearted the names of his grandma and grandpa!!!Nor the ‘northie’ who have effortlessly named the kids ‘Bunty aur Babli’……I mean ‘Bunty ‘ or ‘Babli’….

And when I talk about words I should mention how obscene German language is. You can see the word ‘fahrt’ all over German roadways. Apparently the word means ‘drive’. But the word give altogether different connotation to a English friendly desi..Those famous autobahns in Germany had to be sealed of after the world cup when the British hooligans who came driving by the autobahn got ‘inspired’!!! And with liberal usage of letter ‘Z’ in the language you keep grinding your teeth every time you talk…try saying ‘Gesamtbetriebsrates zur verschobenen..I don’t know what it means. But a few like these means that you don’t have to go to gym ..they burn calories like anything!!’

I mean who would have bought a Volkswagen if they spelt it like it was supposed to be..

Salesman from Stuttgart: ‘Introducing our new model Volkswagenwerk Aktiengesellschaft Model T100 ’

By the time he finished that our Guy from Jamshedpur would have easily managed at least 10 Tata’s..You see what a brilliant marketing trick to name the brand as ‘Tata’…Imagine how many times the jamshedpur salesman would have said Tata by the time his colleague from Stuttgart finished one ‘Volkswagenwerk Aktiengesellschaft Model T100’
Only brilliant strategist’s think like that..

It is like how *Bata* dominated our shoe market..
And *Data* is the buzzword in software industry..

But all these companies should pay tribute to the humble malayalee who inspired them to coin these brand names. It was apparently a mallu lady who screamed ‘Paataaaa’ on seeing a cockroach in the corridor that gave the inspiration!!

Nevertheless moving forward I ll like to tell you that I am lucky to see lot of French ladies in office..not exactly like Paris Hilton…but wannabe Hilton's!! :-P
And these amazing ladies have a habit of pecking a kiss to everyone’s cheek every morning in office. But sadly this custom is restricted only between the French ..Not even Germans get a chance. For that matter they don’t care…
Neways there is nothing bad in hoping for.Inspite of discouraging colleagues, A friend of mine made it a point to straighten his neck every time a French lady went past him. He looked like a Ostrich peeping out from its grove and after a week this ritual gave him nothing but a stiff neck!! Sad isn’t how desperate people can get!!

Back to the old story of word jugglery it is worthy to mention

Youtube came with their name when someone found that they showed copyrighted videos and the shocked music company guy blurted…..’Eu tu Brutus’
..Almost like how Rediff might have got its name when some disgruntled writer might have told the management..’Uh....Read if only you got time!!!!’ Or the Japanese who came to Kottayam and heard the mundu clad guy in the junction say ‘Auto..Auto’ in a feverous pace. See how some get inspired and make brands like Toyota…There are countless example including like 'Reliance' seems to take its cue from 'License Raj'….striking similarity isn’t…
Only if you know how difficult it was for me to find any similarity in it! :-P

When the last remaining brit soldier left the country some time in 1947 he must have regretted something. They taught the Indians 'English'…In spite of all the phunny concoctions we make out of the language it isn’t a exaggeration to say that we have arrived in the global space thanks to the odd Brit…

Of all the odds against us ..of all the adversities we face there is always something for us to cheer about!!Atleast we having a thriving economy now..And I guess 'English' is quite a reason for that..

Finally sitting in the office and when I write this and my colleagues thinks that am writing some kind of specialized document for cutting edge software applications to be deployed..

aah that evil sense of satisfaction for some time well utilized!!! :-P

Monday, February 19, 2007

Margaret never cries’… you know!

Margaret never cries’… you know!

I thought it wouldn’t be this bad…I thought it will just pass by.

Nevertheless’ Margaret is brave isn’t? She wouldn’t succumb to pressure…

My parents own me. Infact they are me..They like me a lot...You know, my Dad just loves praising about me. I remember when I was in school he would show my drawings to his friends in office. I think he was very proud of me…No...He is still proud of me..

But why do you look sad now..Your hair isn’t even combed..Your eyes arent any better either...Cheer up lady!!

I don’t know.. 'Margaret'..It has always been like this ...I think I am like Holden Caulfield. I have a reason for being unreasonable . Mom thinks I shouldn’t wait further...And dad says he is getting old by the day. Is it what they call emotional blackmail??

I looked straight at her..’Cmon..You have to face it..It wasn’t ever meant to be easy’

Margaret never cries’… you know!

James uncle thinks I won’t get a better one... I overheard James uncle telling dad that this guy goes to church every day. And he doesn’t even drink during Christmas! Amma thinks that he was one of the 12 disciples himself. And Papa nodded in agreement..

You know..working in the chilly winter of Birmingham I miss the 'koyyalappam' Amma makes…I miss looking at my brothers drawers…I miss those coffees in the balcony..I miss Ammini chechi's stories about her kids..
*why should I give you all the details??..I miss home!!*

Uncles..aunties..cousins..nephews..they love to give long as its none of their own little kids..After all they have a right to say..They had attended my holy communion and gave me 50 Rs to buy chocolates..How can I forget that 'favour'?!! And now they too love to chorus..'Margaret it is time to tie the knot...'

But Margaret wasn’t a soul to buyout..It was never for sale

There are times when you think what you really want..and hear what your heart says..I somehow like what my heart says than what my brain says..I never was ready for it..

Amma called today and told me to come home..Atleast for a vacation..Only if she knew I wanted to be near her more than her..papa I love you…but why are you forcing me? please give me some more time.

Margaret never cries’… you know!

And I looked in the mirror…tired of consoling myself..reasoning with myself...confused..broken..tearful as always!!!!!!!!
Margaret says 'I am after all I'
Margaret weeps in the toilet and talks to herself in the mirror almost everyday.
P.S.dedicated to all the Margaret's around...
picture courtesy:

Saturday, February 10, 2007

trinity tag.......

The lord of small fundas tagged me with this filler tag. A trinity tag of sorts!!

Three things that scare me
Some of the scary things look less scary by the day... Like when I see myself in the mirror everyday…otherwise those consistently scaring me are..

1. Friday 6 o clock call from manager
2. Ballaya movies
3. All insects bigger than an inch long

Three people who make me laugh
Tough one, But those that are near the tip of my tongue..

1. Few bloggers with their sense of humour
2. Jon Stewart
3. Jagathy Sreekumar

Three things I love
So many of em..If I can detail things out it would get really I love masala dosas served in arya nivas…but generally..

1. Fridays.. I could not change this one
2. Sleeping in a boat after a sumptuous lunch.
3. Roaming aimlessly in the parambu at my native place.

Three things I hate

1. Cleaning up the kitchen
2. To show fake camaraderie to people I hardly know
3. Excessive hatred to anything

Three things I don't understand
1. What woman wants...but then that is a universal puzzle
2. Why I am doing a job I really don’t like.
3. Why our politicians still get elected every other election!!

Three things on my desk
1. One airplane model
2. A laptop (my company owns it sadly)
3. A basket of cello tapes.. Scissors. And other office accessories

Three things I am doing right now
1. Checking mails
2. Talking to the Polish lady nearby
3. Watching the snowfall outside

Three things I want to do before I die

1. Buy the best suit for my funeral!!
2. Show parents Europe
3. A dozen kids may be… :-P

Three things I can do

1. I can fly a sukhoi
2. I can go for a date with VIDYA BALAN
3. I can attend a meeting without listening anything

Three things you should listen to

1. Your conscience
2. Chitra’s Voice
3. Osho rhetoric’s

Three things you should never listen to

1. Hugging and swaying swamis
2. Himesh Reshamiyya
3. Indian politicians..esp those in my home state

Three things I'd like to learn

1. How to forgive
2. How to say 'NO'..a art it is...
3. How to ask a girl for a day out

Three favourite books
I am finding it tough to answer these questions..Neways..
1. Shantaram
2. The kite runner
3. The Idiot

Three favourite food

You devil..I hate choice sometimes…still
1. Kappa with fish curry
2. Appam mutton stew
3. Chicken biriyani

Three beverages I drink regularly

1. Coffee - Tea *4-5 times a day
2. Apple, guava or pineapple juice
3. Vanilla flavoured milk

Three TV shows/books I watched/read when I was kid

1. Street Hawk
2. Tinkle digest
3. Giant Robot

Three people I like to tag.

anyone bored
anyone overworked
anyone who had idli for breakfast today.. :-P