Are you married to the idea of divorce??

Anjali has written in her blog about a incident which is often untold in most homes..Often not talked about because of the stigmas attached to it..What I want to write about is not a solution to the problem , just my take on the two school of thoughts evident from the blog and the comments I read..I wont claim that my perceptions are the right one, it is just the way i think...


Scenario

A woman gets married to her wishes to a handsome bloke and starts living with him .They have a kid like any other normal household.But the hunky dory story goes awry once the husband turns out to be not that great after all..He isn’t the lovable hunk anymore and turns out to be a wife abuser..She is staying with him inspite of all the harrasments.The question is whether she should sign that document called divorce agreement and come back home with her kids…

Sanctity school of thought

Marriage is considered sacred…It is made in heaven and has to be ethereal not hampered by daily skirmishes that happens in households..Sacrifice and Forgiveness are what makes marriage survive.We have to make a marriage work at all costs irrespective of the differences.In lighter words it is a system which should work even if the hardware and software are not compatible with each other…

My two cents

It so happens that the buzzwords sacrifice and forgiveness looks quite nice until you are not bearing the brunt..I appreciate the concern you have for holding a marriage as it is not poker that we are playing in a marriage..

But how long can you forgive and sacrifice??Is there any time limit prescribed for it??Is it like once you are abused three times, divorce is morally right??Or is it like you suffer all throught your life..go to church and pray hoping things will change??

We think like this because we are taught that divorce is a evil that should be avoided at all cost , something that the church abhors…hey cmon the girl is not married to the church..She has married the goddman guy..I may sound like a womanizer. But I don’t care if I sound so..When you say that you have to forgive some one..It is not one side of the tale..You forgive someone when the other person is guilty of fault and repenting..But what many of you advocate is implied forgiveness bearing all the brunt however hard it is .

'An Ace is Ace' school of thought

It is in black and white .Woman aren’t anymore “take-care-of-household” machines.They believe in work sharing and rigid segregation of personal and professional life.Seperate bank accounts for the husband and wife and basically everything contradictory to the concept that husband and wife becomes one after marriage.People following this school of thought are generally classified as feminist..
Fierce independence is the driving factor for many of em.

Marriage is a contract that has to be respected with heavy penalty clauses if they aren’t followed.. very much business like.

My two cents

I appreciate the talks of equality and work sharing.But aren’t we taking the concept of “independence” a bit too far.In that case why do we need a marriage.??Wouldnt some clinic which creates test tube babies do the trick?? I admit that wife beating is a heinous crime that doesn’t come under the perview of “forgive-and-suffer-along” school of thinking..Such cases have to be legally dealt with.But there are cases where marriages break up due to silliest of ego issues..Many of you take the concept of no-nonsense approach without thinking about the future..Every household problem is not a cancer where only amputation works…some can be treated with medicines..Divorce is the last resort.
It might be a easy way to end things..but the kids maynot necessarily think like you. The society is hard on you however reasonable your case is.. All those pro-liberation organisation wont be besides you till the end...


Collating the two school of thoughts..it is a tough choice to make..A choice which you have to make based on your priorites…based on how you look life at...and that is a personal choice…

Pankaj..Bata and the French ladies...

Some managers never grow up. For some people it happens out of the blue that the brain decides..’I cant handle it anymore.. Quit.. No more value addition!’. Freeze…stop growing…'

Recently I overheard the story about this high profile manager talking to another equally dumb client manager. It often happens that when you talk to foreigners they find it hard to pronounce names. Tell them to say 'Venkatapathy Raju'..You will see a amazing variety of ‘naatyashastrams’ and ‘bhavams’ on display…So this client friendly manager in order to make life easy for this Mr. Hamilton began spelling his name. Somehow this 'one of a kind desi manager' managed his sur name though he struggled a bit because he couldn’t think of a country which started with ‘D’..
Already exhausted after testing his brains to the limit he started of with his second name..

‘P for Pankaj’

Rumors say we lost a client after this disastrous display of spelling proficiency..

By the way the Scripps spelling bee contest where you see kids effortlessly spell words like 'chiaroscurist' and 'staphylococci' gives me those mediocrity blues…How do they comprehend spelling them when the guy in the opposite chair tells him that the word is of Spanish origin and with that tinge of Chinese influence .

For something as simple as ‘Xbox’. The quizzer will come up with pronunciations like

Exbosk
Exboks
Xbeux
Yessboss
Eggbox

By then even the guy who invented it would be grappling with the manual to check how he had spelled it..

And if you noticed recent winners of the spelling contest are expat kids who are from Andhra. When you have named the kid like ‘Sathya Naryana Venkatasubramania Bhaama Reddy’ the kid is destined to be a spelling whizkid.,..We poor malayalees often don’t get to learn all the alphabets by the time this Andhra kid has by hearted the names of his grandma and grandpa!!!Nor the ‘northie’ who have effortlessly named the kids ‘Bunty aur Babli’……I mean ‘Bunty ‘ or ‘Babli’….

And when I talk about words I should mention how obscene German language is. You can see the word ‘fahrt’ all over German roadways. Apparently the word means ‘drive’. But the word give altogether different connotation to a English friendly desi..Those famous autobahns in Germany had to be sealed of after the world cup when the British hooligans who came driving by the autobahn got ‘inspired’!!! And with liberal usage of letter ‘Z’ in the language you keep grinding your teeth every time you talk…try saying ‘Gesamtbetriebsrates zur verschobenen..I don’t know what it means. But a few like these means that you don’t have to go to gym ..they burn calories like anything!!’

I mean who would have bought a Volkswagen if they spelt it like it was supposed to be..

Salesman from Stuttgart: ‘Introducing our new model Volkswagenwerk Aktiengesellschaft Model T100 ’

By the time he finished that our Guy from Jamshedpur would have easily managed at least 10 Tata’s..You see what a brilliant marketing trick to name the brand as ‘Tata’…Imagine how many times the jamshedpur salesman would have said Tata by the time his colleague from Stuttgart finished one ‘Volkswagenwerk Aktiengesellschaft Model T100’
Only brilliant strategist’s think like that..

It is like how *Bata* dominated our shoe market..
And *Data* is the buzzword in software industry..

But all these companies should pay tribute to the humble malayalee who inspired them to coin these brand names. It was apparently a mallu lady who screamed ‘Paataaaa’ on seeing a cockroach in the corridor that gave the inspiration!!

Nevertheless moving forward I ll like to tell you that I am lucky to see lot of French ladies in office..not exactly like Paris Hilton…but wannabe Hilton's!! :-P
And these amazing ladies have a habit of pecking a kiss to everyone’s cheek every morning in office. But sadly this custom is restricted only between the French ..Not even Germans get a chance. For that matter they don’t care…
Neways there is nothing bad in hoping for.Inspite of discouraging colleagues, A friend of mine made it a point to straighten his neck every time a French lady went past him. He looked like a Ostrich peeping out from its grove and after a week this ritual gave him nothing but a stiff neck!! Sad isn’t how desperate people can get!!

Back to the old story of word jugglery it is worthy to mention

Youtube came with their name when someone found that they showed copyrighted videos and the shocked music company guy blurted…..’Eu tu Brutus’
..Almost like how Rediff might have got its name when some disgruntled writer might have told the management..’Uh....Read if only you got time!!!!’ Or the Japanese who came to Kottayam and heard the mundu clad guy in the junction say ‘Auto..Auto’ in a feverous pace. See how some get inspired and make brands like Toyota…There are countless example including like 'Reliance' seems to take its cue from 'License Raj'….striking similarity isn’t…
Only if you know how difficult it was for me to find any similarity in it! :-P

When the last remaining brit soldier left the country some time in 1947 he must have regretted something. They taught the Indians 'English'…In spite of all the phunny concoctions we make out of the language it isn’t a exaggeration to say that we have arrived in the global space thanks to the odd Brit…

Of all the odds against us ..of all the adversities we face there is always something for us to cheer about!!Atleast we having a thriving economy now..And I guess 'English' is quite a reason for that..

Finally sitting in the office and when I write this and my colleagues thinks that am writing some kind of specialized document for cutting edge software applications to be deployed..

aah that evil sense of satisfaction for some time well utilized!!! :-P

Margaret never cries’… you know!

Margaret never cries’… you know!

I thought it wouldn’t be this bad…I thought it will just pass by.

Nevertheless’ Margaret is brave isn’t? She wouldn’t succumb to pressure…

My parents own me. Infact they are me..They like me a lot...You know, my Dad just loves praising about me. I remember when I was in school he would show my drawings to his friends in office. I think he was very proud of me…No...He is still proud of me..

But why do you look sad now..Your hair isn’t even combed..Your eyes arent any better either...Cheer up lady!!

I don’t know.. 'Margaret'..It has always been like this ...I think I am like Holden Caulfield. I have a reason for being unreasonable . Mom thinks I shouldn’t wait further...And dad says he is getting old by the day. Is it what they call emotional blackmail??

I looked straight at her..’Cmon..You have to face it..It wasn’t ever meant to be easy’

Margaret never cries’… you know!

James uncle thinks I won’t get a better one... I overheard James uncle telling dad that this guy goes to church every day. And he doesn’t even drink during Christmas! Amma thinks that he was one of the 12 disciples himself. And Papa nodded in agreement..

You know..working in the chilly winter of Birmingham I miss the 'koyyalappam' Amma makes…I miss looking at my brothers drawers…I miss those coffees in the balcony..I miss Ammini chechi's stories about her kids..

*why should I give you all the details??..I miss home!!*

Uncles..aunties..cousins..nephews..they love to give opinions..as long as its none of their own little kids..After all they have a right to say..They had attended my holy communion and gave me 50 Rs to buy chocolates..How can I forget that 'favour'?!! And now they too love to chorus..'Margaret it is time to tie the knot...'

But Margaret wasn’t a soul to buyout..It was never for sale…

There are times when you think what you really want..and hear what your heart says..I somehow like what my heart says than what my brain says..I never was ready for it..

Amma called today and told me to come home..Atleast for a vacation..Only if she knew I wanted to be near her more than her..papa I love you…but why are you forcing me? please give me some more time.

Margaret never cries’… you know!

And I looked in the mirror…tired of consoling myself..reasoning with myself...confused..broken..tearful as always!!!!!!!!

.

.

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Margaret says 'I am after all I'

Margaret weeps in the toilet and talks to herself in the mirror almost everyday.

P.S.dedicated to all the Margaret's around...

picture courtesy:http://www.bethedwards.com/cryingwoman2.html

trinity tag.......

The lord of small fundas tagged me with this filler tag. A trinity tag of sorts!!

Three things that scare me
Some of the scary things look less scary by the day... Like when I see myself in the mirror everyday…otherwise those consistently scaring me are..

1. Friday 6 o clock call from manager
2. Ballaya movies
3. All insects bigger than an inch long

Three people who make me laugh
Tough one, But those that are near the tip of my tongue..

1. Few bloggers with their sense of humour
2. Jon Stewart
3. Jagathy Sreekumar

Three things I love
So many of em..If I can detail things out it would get really long..like I love masala dosas served in arya nivas…but generally..

1. Fridays.. I could not change this one
2. Sleeping in a boat after a sumptuous lunch.
3. Roaming aimlessly in the parambu at my native place.

Three things I hate

1. Cleaning up the kitchen
2. To show fake camaraderie to people I hardly know
3. Excessive hatred to anything

Three things I don't understand
1. What woman wants...but then that is a universal puzzle
2. Why I am doing a job I really don’t like.
3. Why our politicians still get elected every other election!!

Three things on my desk
1. One airplane model
2. A laptop (my company owns it sadly)
3. A basket of cello tapes.. Scissors. And other office accessories

Three things I am doing right now
1. Checking mails
2. Talking to the Polish lady nearby
3. Watching the snowfall outside

Three things I want to do before I die

1. Buy the best suit for my funeral!!
2. Show parents Europe
3. A dozen kids may be… :-P

Three things I can do

1. I can fly a sukhoi
2. I can go for a date with VIDYA BALAN
3. I can attend a meeting without listening anything

Three things you should listen to

1. Your conscience
2. Chitra’s Voice
3. Osho rhetoric’s

Three things you should never listen to

1. Hugging and swaying swamis
2. Himesh Reshamiyya
3. Indian politicians..esp those in my home state

Three things I'd like to learn

1. How to forgive
2. How to say 'NO'..a art it is...
3. How to ask a girl for a day out

Three favourite books
I am finding it tough to answer these questions..Neways..
1. Shantaram
2. The kite runner
3. The Idiot

Three favourite food

You devil..I hate choice sometimes…still
1. Kappa with fish curry
2. Appam mutton stew
3. Chicken biriyani

Three beverages I drink regularly

1. Coffee - Tea *4-5 times a day
2. Apple, guava or pineapple juice
3. Vanilla flavoured milk

Three TV shows/books I watched/read when I was kid

1. Street Hawk
2. Tinkle digest
3. Giant Robot

Three people I like to tag.

anyone bored
anyone overworked
anyone who had idli for breakfast today.. :-P

Bachelor's Cooking Guide Version 1.0

Bachelor's Cooking Guide Version 1.0

Disclaimer:

1) None of the dishes mentioned in the blog are easy to cook and they can be perfected only with years of practice and persistent devotion.
3) The recipes are original and any claims of copyright infringement will be ignored and ridiculed with disdain.
4) If dishes don’t look like the accompanying photographs, it means that you are a disastrous cook and I advice you not to cook ever in your life.
5) Short term side effects due to consumption like constipation, wheezing, loss of sensory perceptions and long-term side effects like violent convulsions to sudden demise cannot be attributed to my recipes.
6) And more importantly any vandalizing of my blog after trying out my dishes is not allowed under Indian penal code IPC 4466 article 364 / A. C’mon don’t go and verify it!!

Yeah usually the disclaimer looks good at the bottom of a page, but for a novelty and my own good health I think it’s safer to put it upfront.

I will explain some of the best dishes every made on this planet and anyone who tries to reproduce the recipes in any other blog should acknowledge that those dishes are in house projects of mine. I hope readers will appreciate that lot of pain staking research goes into making these delightful dishes.

For starters I ll suggest some kind off baptism by fire. Some of the toughest dishes every conceived in my laboratory are as follows. By the way, yeah my kitchen is a laboratory. And for those quality tests I do some testing on guinea pigs before allowing human consumption.

Chinese porcelain and green chilly

One of the marvelous discoveries of the 18th century attributed to Late Tomdicnharry. Green chilies look splendid in porcelain. The combination of Green and white is soothing and tempting for the eyes. Let me tell you one of the best kept secrets in my skill set, The green chilly should be placed exactly at the center of the plate at an angle of 30 degree to the vertical axis to have the best aesthetic look.



Flowery tomato crescendo.

Originally from Italy and rediscovered by this humble chef, it involves lot of effort I would say. Approximately 9-12 hours would be sufficient to get the best results. After washing the tomato apply L’Oreal moisturizer on the surface of the tomato to get the best shine.
Applying laws of trigonometry mathematician Lao-Tse-Sung suggested that tomatos are best cut with a knife rather than a hammer. Some of the best people I am obliged to. Still wouldn’t have found a way out of this strategic confusion but for him.



Sparkling water in Venetian glass




This is slightly less strenuous than the previous two dishes though I suggest readers not to brush it aside. The presence of minerals in the water makes it a very precious commodity. The right blend of minerals in water is of primary importance. The percentage of Iron and calcium shouldn’t be more than .023% and .0056% at all costs to get the right flavour.


Virgin bread delicia


I will say this is an absolute masterpiece. Buy the softest bread in the market to get the best results. The slice should be square in shape as per Indian karmic shaastra and should be precisely measured using vernier calipers before carefully placing it on the plate. This is a dish to die for.


White yolk egg with crunchy hard shells

I believe folks might suspect whether I have taken the patent rights from the US patent department for this dish. To hell with it. Let them get the patent from the hen first. Boil the egg in water at a temperature of 93 degree Celsius to get the right taste. Removing the shell is at the discretion of the consumer.


I guess I have explained more dishes than a novice cook like you can handle. Suggest aspirers to practice these delicacies 3 times a day before attending my next class. A good homework is essential for bigger battles in store. And please don’t loose confidence if you are not able to manage these. As I have learned there is always scope for improvement. Infact you can take inspiration from your guru chef who himself took 2 weeks to master the above dishes.


And just like goody new age websites...

P.S. Please donate 1001 Indian rupees to my account if you find the recipes are useful.

P.P.S. No claims entertained if readers find that they wasted their time here.

Neways introducing a new blog with more such interesting and lethal recipes @ http://bachelor-ambrosia.blogspot.com/2007/01/whats-cooking.html

kochu kochu mandatharangal!!

I have made blunders. I still make blunders. And I have immense self-confidence that I will henceforth make more blunders. Tough isn’t it to have such consistency these days when our cricket team is the only other thing that has such has splendid consistency…needless to mention of losing with such élan.

The other day while having lunch with German colleagues another one of my usual blunder happened. Being a pure non-vegetarian I was having ‘turkey’ for lunch. For gyan the Germans call it ‘Puten’. That was the only thing non-vegetarian, which looks edible to me in the sea of ‘straight-from-the-slaughter- house ‘ beef, pork and other assorted meat products. Neways rather than digressing let me come to the point. While having lunch we have a habit of discussing some global hot topics to mundane home stories... be it about Paris Hilton or Condoleezza Rice. And on this particular day the big senseless discussion was about the radiation poisoning that happened to the Russian spy.

Unfortunately for me on this day, I devoted myself to enjoying the meal and rather than showing off my grasp over all the world matters…Therefore rather ignorant of how the discussion was progressing I was quietly savoring my ‘turkey’ dish. And it happened that suddenly this chap asks me.’ So...What’s your opinion of Putin??’…Hey for me that fleecing moment, ‘Puten’ the turkey had a more significant presence in mind than ‘Putin’ the president. And what do you say when someone asks something like that?

‘ Pute(i)n is absolutely delicious...though is not hot enough for me.’

When I turned sideways after replying, I saw the one of the most puzzled look I have ever seen. Just like how Prez Bush looks like when he is absolutely clueless when asked about Iraq.

Likewise in the first few days in Germany I was puzzled when people used to say ‘choose’ every evening while I was going home after office hours. Dude, if you have to ask someone to choose something…you must offer something. But here I found all of em just asking me to choose something from thin air.
I hurried to my Indian colleague to ask if is some age-old German custom or gimmick to ask someone to choose something from nowhere, just for the heck of it. Finally gyan prevailed that ‘chuuse’ is how they say goodbye in German!!

Next day I had a field day blurting ‘chuooose’ the musical way they say..

It further reminds me of my Italy trip in which a colleague of mine went into a restaurant asking for directions to the town of Pisa. Only to be showed some delicious pizzas in the shelf. This guy has sworn to rely on maps further on…

After many experiences it was decided to rely on sign language to convey when you don’t know how to speak Italian. Some research in some god-forsaken university had proved that gestures could communicate a lot. They had found out that 78.32% percentage of ideas could be conveyed just by good body language. Digressing let me tell you that my employer gives me 1.67 leaves per month as per policy. How sweeter can it get! Maybe 1.67325 leaves per month sounds mathematically sexier!!!Swear on the guy who taught them the decimals?

Coming to the point my friend who was staying in a hotel in Florence went to the receptionist to check whether he can make a call. The skillful and elaborate gestures he made and the receptionist immediately understood exactly what he meant. My friend swears that he saw a bulb lighting up in her head (the kind you see in cartoons when ideas click) when she nodded that she understood everything he gesticulated She came back with a hair dryer and handed over gleefully to this friend of mine. So much for what the research says!

And many things still amuse me here. This buddy of mine who still thinks it is cool to come late for meeting apparently forgets that Germans have a penchant for precision and make sure things happen on time. They apparently grudge if people don’t respect time. They infact get impatient when the train is late by a few seconds. But this chap used to seeing apna Jammu Tawi express running late by days thought things work desi style here as well.

His German boss by now knew how slack our Indian friend was in reaching office on time. And one day he decided to give him a hint. So the conversation goes like this..

Mr. Schulz: Hope you are aware of the meeting at 10.30 tomorrow

Indian friend: With a sly smile. Ofcoz Mr. Schulz.I have marked it in my calendar.

Mr. Schulz this time in a baritone voice and damn serious.10.30 in the morning to be precise!!!

Now apna friend dint look cheerful like before!!!!

And some days back while standing in the bus stop a conversation happened between two guys both heavy smokers. Let say call them Marlboro Kings and Davidoff Wills.

Wills puffing vigorously.”Hey Kings… am concerned about the increasing pollution.esp in public places..”
Kings nodding sympathetically...”Yeah..David..Something should be done to stop this”
Wills..”I hate the non smokers who cough all the time around us”
Kings endorsing Wills and patting on his shoulders...”Bob. I wish the government does something to stop the noise pollution they cause”

neways things running as usual for me.I saw snow for the first time recently..Was so excited about it..I found it odd that people dint go berzek seeing snow..I was all fired up and enjoyed the moment!!

I am having blunderful times here...And I expect even more blunderful incidents to talk about..maybe when I become a old grumpy man I might write a book.’Mein Blunders’ :-)

Life..the other side

He was a tall handsome young lad..22 years old and enjoying the best of youth. Binumon as well call him was soft spoken but with great ambitions and desire to enjoy life to the max…Loving parents and hopes of a simple middle class family.Life was great in its own small ways .He just wanted to live the typical way..study..get a nice job and take care of his parents…



I don’t like telling sad tales..I dont know whether to call this a sad tale because it involves a fight..A fight to LIVE...and to HOPE..but this is a real story of my cousin..Binu was doing a course in allahadabad university in agriculture..Far away from the laid back alappuzha where he hails from..Far away from the coziness of a nice home..and the company of boisterous friends , he was almost near the fag end of his course when those twists of life happened..

Back in trivandrum I was doing my engineering like another kid of the block..For me life was just college , movies, university exams and so many such usual jargons..That day my dad got a call from binu’s dad that his son was having severe fever and that he was leaving for allahadabad…All my relatives thought it was just a over cautious dad just eager to meet his son ..


Binu’s dad called a week later.

A dad who had gone to meet his son who was studying quite far away saw what a parent feared the worst..This nice chap was in a hospital bed ridden..after surving 3 heart attacks..one of them major..speechless..and paralyzed..a victim of a rare disease by the name Guillain-Barre Syndrome ..

A killer disease which starts with a seemingly harmless fever but fatal..and the cure for it is a obscenely expensive injection which can cause a heart attack as a side effect and hence has to be administered in utmost medical precautions..But those government docs in allahadabad don’t know how precious a child is for a parent..A hospital where even the ICU was ridden by rats and coackroaches..Binu’s dad all alone and helpless facing a calamity unthinkable of was shaken and helpless..Binu couldn’t be moved out anywhere coz of the precarious condition he was in and was surving on life support systems..After the last attack he had slipped into coma..Few friends of Binu helped his dad to tide over the inital shock..But that was a shock for a lifetime..His Mom was taken there and a month later when Binu could be moved out he was bought to a hospital in trivandrum..

The last time I saw him he was 6 foot tall ,well built with a good physique(gym crazy he was) and smiling as always..Although elder to me he never carried a big brother attitude in his sleeve..His humility was humbling for me when I reflect back..But now when I went to meet him in the hospital I saw a almost lifeless figure..almost skeletal..bald..with a gaping hole in his neck for all those artifical respiration devices..At first I was shocked at his appearance..infact it was tough to hold my composure in front of his parents for fear of hurting them..I tried to make them feel everything is normal which they obviously knew otherwise…Celinamma aunty was there..I expected to see her weeping and heartbroken..But I saw her at peace with the fate..just eager to get her son back in feets at all cost..She was some one I least expected to put up such a brave resolve..I couldn’t imagine myself standing up in such a scenario..Babychayan was quite relieved to get his son in this reputed hospital for that it gave him a flicker of hope…

I have seen people crying and shocked after the death of a loved one..but this was a bigger battle..To wait day in and out to see there beloved son open his eyes..to see a once lively energetic son lying on a bed alive for namesake…His parents stayed at my place those 5 months..

I remember those days when I drove them to hospital those days ..I tried not to talk about Binumon on those trips just to divert their attention atleast for some time..but I knew for them the world was all about Binu..One month later he regained consciousness ..Though he wasn’t able to speak because of a hole in his throat that was made to suck mucous formation in his lungs..His parents were mightly relieved when Binu was able to recognize them..Bed sores and other problems synonymous with a bed ridden patient was taking its toll..And the parents began to take care of the daily needs..

Whenever I went to the hospital to meet him those days I couldn’t gauge Binu’s thoughts..He just smiles when I meet him..I talk about something happening outside..But he just looks blank unable to say anything..His parents looking out for any signs of reponse from Binu..I was just talking not knowing whether he is listening to me..

After sometime came the second shocker..Docs informed that Binu’s brain could be damaged after the attacks and not to hold hopes of full fledged recovery..But when some one badly wants something..we hope even if the chances are bleak..His parents just hoped liked that..To get back the good old Binu..

Later on he was moved to another hospital where he could be moved to a room ..The previous hospital had only intensive care facilities..In the new hospital the hole in his throat was stiched..Binu began speaking..although barely comprehensible because his muscles had become slack by then..He had lost atleast 40 kilos during those days..from a sturdy 75 kg frame he had thinned to a skinny 35 kilos..I have seen pics of concentration camps ..here I saw my cousin looking like almost one of them..A guy whose presence was towering just because of his physique a few months back..

Intensive physiotherapy and nutrient supply made him gain a few kilos..But he was still bed ridden..He couldn’t stand because his legs were too skinny and calcification had caused the muscles to bind with the bones..Another trouble we found later was that he was having short term memory loss ..So he kept repeating questions..He kept asking the names of the people whom he had just met…It was hard to see how is parents were trying to convince him that it was year 2004 and not 2003 (when the trauma started)…

After countless operations…He can walk now..although his damage to the brain has caused this short term memory loss..He has forgotten everything he studied…He get terrible mood swings and gets angry at his parents..Maybe he himself doesn’t comprehend that he is getting angry at his loving dad and mom…Maybe the brain damage happened because the trauma was too much for his own self to handle..He doesn’t understand the of enormosity of the calamity he has gone through…Maybe it is God's way of sparing pain he was going through...

But I have the biggest respect for Babychayan and Celinamma aunty who had to go through all these..Take care of a son who they might have visualized as a different being now a few years back…They are not physically strong..But emotionally strong than most of us..They are happy too see their son in flesh and blood ,scarred though...

When I had been to there home last time, Binu talked about the time he had been to trivandrum…He does remember the times we spend some 10-12 years back..Sometimes I wonder whether he is coercing himself to forget everything that happened during his illness..maybe…


P.S..He is still undergoing corrective surgery in his legs..Staying with parents in Alappuzha,Kerala..The treatment was enormously expensive..Thankfully funded by relatives abroad and good aid from the church..