Saturday, March 21, 2009

Quo Vadis?

In the wee hours of a wintry Sunday morning I woke up to the sound of rattling windows in my insipid little home and wore the specs to clear the haze that blurred my dreary eyes ...The mist was already in the air and nature was making exotic mosaics of its own on the tinsel glass panes...The dew drops then fell, washing away what was so beautiful just a few minutes nature was never satisfied with its own creation....And then I started walking, inspite of the cold which was accentuated by the chilly zephyr ..

Few steps down the cobblestoned path and stretching my hands as if to grab an invisible bottle of elixir floating somewhere, I could breathe fresh air flavored with a tinge of aroma from the nearby spring flowers...... A sniff of which sub-consciously brought a smile along, as I walked towards the river side.

The moon was not perfect round nor a flawless crescent but still glorious in the bland mackerel sky, threatened by the sun flaunting its gleam and playfully blending into the blue with shades of scarlet…As if taking a cue the birds began their ballet in the sky, gliding tranquilly and placidly with an occasional scoop down to the river and splashing their feathers leaving a fine mist dangling in the streams of sunlight.

As I kept walking along the river bed which was spotless ivory and cushioned wet, I could see in the distance a man and his dog playing. Not sure who was happier when I saw the dog jump in air and retrieve the flying saucer ,every time the man threw it away...If then someone said dogs couldn’t smile, I would have disagreed.

Running further along I saw signs of the city waking up… children boisterously laughing hands over shoulders …a beautiful woman reading a novel in the bus…someone was playing Wagner’s music in the bistro….From the distance I could hear the first sirens of the ships moving in the harbor … pushing tiny waves kissing my feet…

I stood for a moment …looking at the retreating waves.

The retreating waves...

Five years ago on a pleasant summer day I was where I stood now, listening to her jokes. She would say silly things which I wondered were philosophical puzzles…Watching the wave’s retreat she would liken it to a love lost woman who would go back to the water after a fling with the shore…only to come back again.

She had a smile on her face... always….But when she talked about her story the mask was hard to keep. The pursuits of happiness and to be loved had taken her places…Her guy was a man of exquisite tastes, refinement and a natural charmer. His witty remarks would make any party in town lively. And she saw perfectness in her world…a utopian perfection.

When such a perfect crystal cracked it left a lot of mess …She realized the complete man was a work of art made of clay…it changed shape as days went by and so did she…They tried to hide the cracks in pursuit of making it work. Petty fights, ego clashes, reconciliation a vicious circle of which two souls badly wanted to come out…and they did come out…He left the city to start afresh…She stayed back…broken free but still dizzy…and empty.

And one day, she said she wanted to know where the retreating waves go…I laughed at the idiotic question of hers. Sometimes it’s hard to elicit from a person so mystic…because two days later when I saw in the papers, I understood that was not a joke!!

And now, standing at the same place I watched the wave’s retreat…picturing the four footprints that used to be there few years ago...I wondered if she had come for a walk that morning and brought an empty canvas and paint her life all over again.

Today, with trivial thoughts and flimsy dreams I walk back in oblivion with only myself to accompany...
P.S. In an old post of mine..I had mentioned that i wished to hold the paint brush again...though 4 years of not having done is obvious...I am glad I did..
acrylic on paper.


thomas said...

Ok ok I get it. Kanchaavu adichalle. (kanchaavu adichaal german parayaamennu aaro paranju thettidharippichu, pakshe germanu pakaram philosophy aanu paranjathu alle) :P

thomas said...

Pakshe post title Latin aanallo. Appam ok.

Anonymous said...

You too Maths..!! wondering on the other side of your brain..may be am reading this kind from you for a first time..But you have to continue it seems mathew..Lovely writing..I mean the style i loved truly..(silence on the subject though)
You scribble poems ?
just wanted to know..seems you can write better poems.
and personally i believe you are not concentrating on anything..paint,write and all..(may be a policy..dont mind)
thanks for giving more opportunity to explore the person in you.

Amal Bose said...

really wonderful work..
I agree with Ann, you would do really great in poetry.

skar said...

Mathew:"Quo Vadis?"
Lady: "Eau de Cologne"


Rahul Nair said...

vivid description of nature... too good...
hands up.. hehe

Sakshi said...

hmm...u wear so many hats and that too perfect in everything...amazing talent :)

Mishmash ! said...

I always enjoyed ur posts filled with satire and humour but I love it when u get into that pensive mood....the serenity the reader feels in such posts is just's a lovely-lovely piece of writing....

also happy to know that ur weekends are more 'colourful' these days.....btw,if u ever gift me (ohh..i am always to the point :P ) u should only gift me one of ur sketches/paintings....and I will get u complete series of Frasier,,,what say? :))))

Abhi said...

Kalip! Enthoru description. Serikum wonder adichu poyi! Beautiful descriptions, beautiful words. Serikum i could visualise what you described.

@ Thomman - ROFLMAO

Deepti said...

Wonderful painting mate... and the lines are beautiful ..seriously another side of your persona and its nice!!

Praveen said...

chettan oru sambhavam thanne:D
comedy maathrame ariyavoo enna karuthiye...appola innale kore kidilam photos kandathu, in orkut..
ippo painting..pinne ee sudden burst of philosophy...awesome, I must say!!

mathew said...

LOL!! evide jailil idaan nalla agraham ondu alle..;-D

that was a generous comment..
Actually I dont scribble poems though have done a few when I was in school..its more like writing anything what stucks in my mind..

thanks a lot for the appreciation.:-)

@Amal Bose
thank you..:-)

;-O...yet to figure out the joke...tubelight alert..;-P


ayyo..that will be too far fetched...its just a hobby for me..
thank you..:-)

@Mishmash !
thanks a lot...;-)
I must admit that the comments for the post i did in december inspired me a lot...glad that you enjoyed are one of the best people to encourage me!!

I dont mind doing a painting if I am treated to a nice meal from your kitchen..;-D

thank you..nice to know you enjoyed it.

gracias madam!!;-D

Sambhavam...hahaha..hope my friends dont read this..;-D

thanks..i think if the locales are dont need to put much effort in taking a pic..;-)

skar said...

@Mathew: I was afraid it might not be very clear because it was a little convoluted :p So you were actually supposed to read 'eau de Cologne' in French :| It would translate to 'Water of Cologne', where Cologne is on the river Rhine in Germany! :| So effectively, you ask 'Where are you going?' and she replies 'in to the waters!' I was just thrilled that I could find such an apt use for 'eau de cologne' instead of the cliched usage of it! :D Also makes for a nice terse summary of the story no? :p

skar said...

Btw, nice painting! Who's the girl? ;)

Puupole said...

What an emotional writing! Very haunting,...leaving me all in tears and heavy-hearted...

VMJ said...

you've painted a wonderful picture..with words. nice.

Dhanya said...

That's a fantastic painting.. and the writing too.. another side of the multi-talented Mathew :)

Anonymous said...

Bachelor chef par excellence and now veering into Van Gogh territory!

Loved the painting. Btw, I have just very recently gone back to indulging my own love (after 10 yrs or so!) for the brush dipped in myriad colors, so I know the liberating feeling that it must have given you. Great work.

Princess Banter said...

Quite the dark horse, aren't you? Does your talent ever end? :) I'm back to blogland again... and I have to say, I've missed your posts. It seems like I've quite a bit to catch up on :)

Jackfruit said...

Man simply complicated story :D:D ... it sounded very lonely but lovely :D:D ...

btw I am enjoying the resent story trend in you blog btw nice painting too .. so techi, blogger, story teller, painter what next?

Pooja Nair said...


I find 'portraits' most challenging to paint and you have achieved such a lovely face!

Makes me want to know about this girl.:)

Very nice story. escpecially the "not a joke" twist...

Yor DO have many talents...

cooking, story building, painting, humour, photography!!! :)

Does this painting have a name?

Divs said...

you write , you paint , u cook! you code(? :P) what are you!!!


on a serious note.. a nice painting.. fits with the post.

beautiful post.. but it left me sad

(I told the last line already didn't I? :) )

scorpiogenius said...

oh you put this girlie up here??
i didnt see it during my first visit...

Great man! You are awesome!!!

scorpiogenius said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

Hey, man...

Loved the description. I am usually not a fan of long winded descriptions, and hence shy away from the Tolkiens and the Tolkien wannabes.

But I enjoyed your post. The painting is great too. Why don't you try a hand at digital painting? It poses some unique advantages and challenges, but I rather think you might like it. I'm not sure if I've shown you some of my works, but at the risk of repeating myself, check out

mathew said...

wow..thats a wonderful linkage you have bought there..though I stay near a river called the Elbe which has more factory waste than the eau de cologne..;-P

thank you...I couldnt comment in your have wonderfully described much like what i have seen here...

thanks...and for understanding the post..

ayyo..thats a bit embarassing..;-)

hahha..angane parayallu..
btw nice to see you back actively blogging..

@Princess Banter
hallo...long nice to see you as well back in blogworld!!;-)

its a simple story made complicated..;-)

hahha..that girl was supposed to be Eva green..but turned out to be something like Padma lakshmi..;-D can suggest a name..after all you are in the big ad world..;-)

LOL!! everyone does that!
thanks a lot..

yeah..i added later when i thought it kinda fits with the story..thank you..

thanks a lot..
yeah..i have seen that blog of yours..needs lot of patience for what you do....I dont think I ll have ever that..and yeah somehow am more traditional about this..;-)

Philip said...

Seriously man, you have (multi)talent! Respect.

How do we know said...

wow.. u r really good at this Mathew.. u surprise me!!

And loved all the other posts since this one too...

mathew said...

thanks buddy..quite humbled..

@How do we know
thanks a lot!;-)

Sumy Sunil said...

Mathew, thaan oru velliya multi-faceted personality, hmmm!!!...Chef, good writer, nice dreamer, penney..oru kocchu painter kudey….endammey…How this is happening...that is why Mathew is here….next best thing to God..Hats off to your skill set, man..gr8..keep rocking…

ramblings said...

wow! that was mesmerising! :)