Praying m-anti(c)s

‘In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth “
‘Now the earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep”
‘and the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters.’
And God said, "Let there be light" *

And as I opened my eyes a brilliant flash of light struck my face …and a voice from behind thundered amidst heavenly digital hymns...

‘Wherever you go, our network follows’

I KNOW!! , but not so soon my good lord!!, I cried desperately…

And the voice said... ‘HUTCH!!’ That’s when my cousin who was reading the Bible went to the other room and switched off the TV. It took a few seconds and a brain restart to conclude the power cut was finally over, marking the conclusion of a carefully laid out prayer schedule perfected by traditional mallu christian families who share a fluctuating relationship with KSEB (Kerala State Electricity Board)...Due to the recession its during these daily power cuts we all sit down and winzip our grievances to the Lord.

These are fervent prayer sessions where folks have own positions and strategies like in a football team... There is usually a striker who would be praying the loudest and sitting closest to the mini-altar… Then there are mid-fielders, usually the ladies at home who are somewhere in the middle of the pitch halfway to the kitchen….Defenders are usually the brats who are lazy and get fired up only when the team goalkeeper (usually the senior most player) give them a mouthful I believe in Aramaic language…But the entire team works in unison with the sole goal of getting the almighty to listen to us…and he better hear us, the way some try to get him listening.

In our home to make it really sure that the message gets across we sing a song at the end of the prayers... And being blessed with a voice that is …I am trying to type in here “heavenly, melodious and soothing” but seems like a warning message from MS Word dictionary “Do you mean, terrifying, fear-instilling and lethal? “. I think we got the point when we tried to sing that song at my uncle’s home which he warned is adjacent to a cemetery.

It is generally very difficult to figure out what goes on in the minds of people…But my theological analysis has shed light into what goes behind the deep intensity and fervour in some prayers…

*Mom is praying that the Appam comes of well tomorrow morning.
*Dad is praying that the telephone bill is lesser this time around.
*My cousin who was born with an identity crisis is praying that he gets to see Bourne Identity sometime.
*Our attacking mid-fielder aunt is praying passionately for Sreekutty who is bed ridden with cancer, beriberi and flu …’Sreekuttyude dukham’ the third in the mega serial series just completed 400 episodes in Asianet.
*There is someone at the back who might end up as a fine entomologist considering the interest he shows in playing with the insects hovering near the emergency lamp.

Apart from this due to the competitive nature of these prayer sessions, every other day there is someone trying extra hard …like for example, maximum words spoken in a minute…The abridged version of the Bible was written after recording one such discourse caught in slow motion. Most of the prayers are dictated like a car which starts in 1st gear and goes directly to fourth and then halts abruptly… We kinda assume that the middle part is for God to deduce... To avoid any miscommunication with God as it happened once to the horror of elders around, when I had emphatically articulated “Yeshu paatu paadi marichu” instead of “Yeshu paadu pettu marichu”, Bible reading went to kids who were on the slower lane….But soon we will get them trained to reach the expert level…

It so happens that God reminds us during such bible reading sessions the harsh realities of life in his own little ways…

“Another of his disciples, Andrew, Simon Peter's brother, spoke up, "Here is a boy with five small barley loaves and two small fish, but how will we feed so many?"

Hearing this I have once seen mom hurrying up to kitchen at 200 km/hr yelling…

“ayyo...meen karinju poyyi kaanum...”**

See the Lord has his own ways of reminding people at the right time…However we remember the Lord primarily according to the power cut schedule …So last week someone thought this alarming trend has to end and called up the parish Priest…

“Father…could you do a talk this Friday evening on it”

“But Son…we have cancelled the sermon…no one misses the IPL kick-off match!! Which team are you…….?”

*passage from Old Testament of the Bible
** oops the fish must have got over-fried