In general...

I am getting poignant of late about many things..and life in general..its not a mid life crisis or something...just the ocassional phases in life when you have a relook in life and priorities...I am currently in Toulouse(France) on work....Its already 1 week in a hotel...working in the day....meeting new colleagues in office..hearing people crib about others...

I feel like writing something frank and to heart, but that stays there and doesnt transform into words...Sometimes I am afraid I am getting too judgemental of people...I feel guilty of it..

Yesterday I went to Lourdes...It was such a re-livening experience going there..maybe it helped travelling alone out there..I felt liberating talking to god about how bad we are inspite of trying to project otherwise...I was planning the trip as a tourist, spend a few hours there and visit a few mountains in the pyrenees...But I ended up spending up all the time there, as the place somehow helped me shed many a baggages i carried in my heart...It was relieving...As I splashed my face with holy water I felt a freshness which I thought I had lost long ago..

The place was touristy outside the shrine(I even saw zippo Lourdes lighters in the place that was thriving on the brand "Immaculate conception")...But inside the shrine, I sensed amazing faith...Throngs of sick people..young and old....seeking blessings..some personal...It was very moving to see hundreds of old people in wheel chairs near the grotto...Several years ago I had promised myself to go to Velankanni once I cleared my graduation..it never worked out...I am glad I made it till here..by chance though..

Today my great grandmother passed away...although i never felt close enough her to instill immense sadness in me today, I somehow feel numb..She was quite alone in a generation much younger to her and she had lived her life the fullest...It reminds me of how a closure is required for everything..even for life on earth...

I am reading ""The diary of a young girl" for the second time...What a girl Anne Frank is..isnt?
She was way ahead of her age...I even feel a strong urge "if she was alive"..

A particular passage inspires me now..

"Riches, prestige, everything can be lost. But the happiness in your own heart can only be dimmed; it will always be there, as long as you live, to make you happy again"

May God take care of Pala Ammachi and Anne Frank...