You have got mail!

Hello friends...it is the day we are all waiting for...Yes…it’s gorgeous Monday again!!…muhuhahuha!! . Sorry for the horrible cheer up buddies... it’s just another day when we open mailboxes like only a tad scarier than opening those report cards you used to get in school.

Unfortunately someone once said... Work is worship ...well, whoever came up with that atrocious line! .So that’s what I have been doing these days afterall. But thinking how much my life is influenced by work came as a rude reminder when I realized that all work and no beer…err. I mean play makes Jack a nerdy boy. Yes this is what happened the other day in another regular day mail which I send to bro.

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Dear Bro,

Kindly note that I am doing fine and in good health. I believe all at offshore are doing fine too.
With respect to previous reminders, it is regretful that I haven’t yet received the snapshots of the Chootuvelli function.

Also during the last drumbeat meeting with Appa and Amma, I have also been apprised that your bank balance looks very similar to my Math scores in school. Do let me know the quarterly losses incurred over the past months.

It is also my prerogative to bring to your notice the highest priority request raised last time. Once again a gentle reminder to save the copy of latest Salim Kumar flicks…

Thanks in advance.

Best regards,

CM

(Intentional BCC to Appa and Amma.)
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Dear chetta...

Kindly note that we are related to each other and I am apparently your brother. And also for your kind information, am still unemployed and am not used to reading such preposterously worded mails which you often reserve for your manager. I am doing my MBA and this is what we are trained for. Please don’t try mess into our domain!

I have saved copies of your favorite movies. Btw please let me know if you are still insisting on that “Adamvum Avvayum pine Njanum”. I still haven’t found it anywhere .Btw Is it K.G. George?

FYI…No “Thanks in advance” until my bank balance is refueled to respectable figures.

And for GODSAKE never ever send a mail from your office ID. They threaten you in the end with cautions and disclaimers. You know Appa and Amma might get real scared if they see that.

Cheers...

B

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As you might have noticed such mails are not entertained on our household and I was reprimanded for being out of touch with the real world. Communications henceforth were restricted to medieval means like making a phone call.
Whereas there are other kind of mails which causes disastrous results amongst peers. Especially when you don’t check with your ophthalmologist often enough.

Dear colleagues,

Pleased to introduce the new colleague in our team Mr. Kumar. His in-experience in Java, VC++ and oracle will benefit our technology driven products .I sincerely wish him all the best.

Friends, let’s welcome the new germ to our project.

Thanks and regards,
Badri


The last I heard was he tendered his resignation after writing a mail, which reminded Badri of his colorful ancestral roots. Talking of office mails there are mails though less harmful can still make you the butt of others jokes. Oops…Like this...

Dear colleagues,

I expect you all to attend the meeting and clarify all open issues. After the interaction with client I don’t want you to come up with any ifs and butts.

With regards,

Bhaskar

People ofcoz make sure to cover there butts these days before meeting bhaskarji…He still got to figure out why the do that..hic hic..

And there are mails that go to the wrong people altogether, which reminds of my friend who send the mail to the guy in IRCTC (http://www.irctc.co.in/).

Edi…

Nee aa ticket book cheythoo...nee ente vaysu kooti koduthu alle…hmmph..(You booked the ticket eh..and You mentioned a higher age for me..hmmph)
How dare you ....Am still 26 ketto….ithinnu njan vachittu ondu (am still 26...expect a revenge for this..)

V


V got the shocker of the mail after a few minutes. He underestimated the presence of malayalees in railways…


Dear V,

Kindly wish to inform that Indian railways currently don’t provide services to mediate family squabbles.
Please login request at http://mohfw.nic.in/ (Ministry of health and Family welfare) for such clarifications.

Yours sincerely.

Online enquiries department
Railways, Chennai division


Whoever told that emails are not fun should be spammed with a thousand enlargement, mortgage, bank of Nigeria and "save Pooja from cancer " mails. Please do share any interesting blunder mails you have come across or heard of.

Oh wait…OMG did I send that “My Boss sucks” mail to…………..