Sunday, April 06, 2008

You have got mail!


Hello friends...it is the day we are all waiting for...Yes…it’s gorgeous Monday again!!…muhuhahuha!! . Sorry for the horrible cheer up buddies... it’s just another day when we open mailboxes like only a tad scarier than opening those report cards you used to get in school.

Unfortunately someone once said... Work is worship ...well, whoever came up with that atrocious line! .So that’s what I have been doing these days afterall. But thinking how much my life is influenced by work came as a rude reminder when I realized that all work and no beer…err. I mean play makes Jack a nerdy boy. Yes this is what happened the other day in another regular day mail which I send to bro.

********************************************************************************************************************
Dear Bro,

Kindly note that I am doing fine and in good health. I believe all at offshore are doing fine too.
With respect to previous reminders, it is regretful that I haven’t yet received the snapshots of the Chootuvelli function.

Also during the last drumbeat meeting with Appa and Amma, I have also been apprised that your bank balance looks very similar to my Math scores in school. Do let me know the quarterly losses incurred over the past months.

It is also my prerogative to bring to your notice the highest priority request raised last time. Once again a gentle reminder to save the copy of latest Salim Kumar flicks…

Thanks in advance.

Best regards,

CM

(Intentional BCC to Appa and Amma.)
******************************************************************************************************************
Dear chetta...

Kindly note that we are related to each other and I am apparently your brother. And also for your kind information, am still unemployed and am not used to reading such preposterously worded mails which you often reserve for your manager. I am doing my MBA and this is what we are trained for. Please don’t try mess into our domain!

I have saved copies of your favorite movies. Btw please let me know if you are still insisting on that “Adamvum Avvayum pine Njanum”. I still haven’t found it anywhere .Btw Is it K.G. George?

FYI…No “Thanks in advance” until my bank balance is refueled to respectable figures.

And for GODSAKE never ever send a mail from your office ID. They threaten you in the end with cautions and disclaimers. You know Appa and Amma might get real scared if they see that.

Cheers...

B

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As you might have noticed such mails are not entertained on our household and I was reprimanded for being out of touch with the real world. Communications henceforth were restricted to medieval means like making a phone call.
Whereas there are other kind of mails which causes disastrous results amongst peers. Especially when you don’t check with your ophthalmologist often enough.

Dear colleagues,

Pleased to introduce the new colleague in our team Mr. Kumar. His in-experience in Java, VC++ and oracle will benefit our technology driven products .I sincerely wish him all the best.

Friends, let’s welcome the new germ to our project.

Thanks and regards,
Badri


The last I heard was he tendered his resignation after writing a mail, which reminded Badri of his colorful ancestral roots. Talking of office mails there are mails though less harmful can still make you the butt of others jokes. Oops…Like this...

Dear colleagues,

I expect you all to attend the meeting and clarify all open issues. After the interaction with client I don’t want you to come up with any ifs and butts.

With regards,

Bhaskar


People ofcoz make sure to cover there butts these days before meeting bhaskarji…He still got to figure out why the do that..hic hic..

And there are mails that go to the wrong people altogether, which reminds of my friend who send the mail to the guy in IRCTC (http://www.irctc.co.in/).

Edi…

Nee aa ticket book cheythoo...nee ente vaysu kooti koduthu alle…hmmph..(You booked the ticket eh..and You mentioned a higher age for me..hmmph)
How dare you ....Am still 26 ketto….ithinnu njan vachittu ondu (am still 26...expect a revenge for this..)

V


V got the shocker of the mail after a few minutes. He underestimated the presence of malayalees in railways…


Dear V,

Kindly wish to inform that Indian railways currently don’t provide services to mediate family squabbles.
Please login request at
http://mohfw.nic.in/ (Ministry of health and Family welfare) for such clarifications.

Yours sincerely.

Online enquiries department
Railways, Chennai division



Whoever told that emails are not fun should be spammed with a thousand enlargement, mortgage, bank of Nigeria and "save Pooja from cancer " mails. Please do share any interesting blunder mails you have come across or heard of.
Oh wait…OMG did I send that “My Boss sucks” mail to…………..

31 comments:

priya said...

U got mail reminds me of the old movie of Tom Hanks.

Ur post is damn funny and hope these mails wont freak u out in the midnight;)

Still Searching said...

Haha! Awesome! Did this really happen for real?!

freespirit said...

:) heh that reminds me of my prestigious position as the goof up queen. I always send the wrong message to the wrong person! I dont know how i manage it, but i always do ! From sending b'day wishes to wrong persons in the middle of the night,to sending bitchy messgs targeted at someone to exactly them, i have done it all! I can sooo identify with this one :D

silverine said...

lol!! Good ones! I have seen my share of mail bloopers! :))

A little OT but do check out this and this!

p.s You boss says you are fired!

Deepti said...

Awesome... LOL :D

Dhanush said...

Loved the IRCTC reply :)

Dhanya said...

ROFL.. I know some instances where a guy sent a mail meant to his girlfriend to his boss.. What happened next is not known :)

Dhanya said...

One more example. Check my blog

mathew said...

@Priya
Ofcoz that line Is from the movie itself..
I have been consistent in creating blunders with mails!!;-P

@Still searching
the last one is real and the butt one is real…rest are spiced up real incidents;-P

@Free spirit
Atleast they are harmless…I have infact more telephone guffaws that mail blunders.

@Anju
Thanks for the link…esp like the first one.

@Deepti
;-D

@Dhanush
It was not exactly that…but something similar to that…

@Dhanya
Oh I wish if the boss was a girl too…and married too.!!;-p
Will check out your blog..

VIDYA said...

LOL! The family squabble thing was
aMAazinly HILARIOUS!

ap said...

LOL...
btw IRCTC takes the cake :)

anN-series said...

i have till date not had this 'mail mishhap'(touch wood!)..but have been the recipient of mails similar to ones received by ur bro. I guess my father uses templates too. I have many a times been shcked by some sentences!

(PS: please dont use the forbidden word. "Thanks in advance")

SR said...

LOL, wrong mails. I remember a colleague of mine who sent emails wishing "Happy Good Friday" and "Happy Muharram" wishes to her religious friends.
I am sure V learnt a lesson of never underestimating Mallus..hmmph

JB - The Lone Thinker said...

A good laugh on Monday!

I wrote a similar mail last week to my bro and dad - with 'please let me know', 'I would like to', etc.

Seema said...

Lol hilarious....fun to read! Was tempted to ask if all of them were true but found ans in your comment section. Ifs n butts..v have screening done to the mails that go off and it would say "you have use illegitimate language and hence this email cannot b sent" crap! And to top it if vr sending mails to any gmail, yahoo et al I'd's the goddamm mails are monitored! Pathetic! But I manage to blog fm work:)))

Karthik said...

LOL..Too good man ..:)

Mishmash ! said...

Interpol alert kandu vannathaa...which blogger re u referring to ? :P

Was exhausted after the move...brain stopped working ...almost settled now......will be back in a couple of days for sure :)

Jackfruit said...

good one. It was a nice read today as I had hundreds of mails to read as I am back in office after a short break :)

mathew said...

@Vidya
;-P thanks to V

@AP
hmm..I have to ask him for new goof ups..;-P

@Ann
hahaha..But seriously lot of office mail etiquettes run into our personal mails..and I hate that I cant help it at times! And now I know how to write mails by giving incorrect names too…for example nick-names!!;-D

@SR
jeez..that’s heights..
although I get bored of most of the forward mails coming..I like to read the interesting ones..
Apparently ‘V’ is the same guy who said the ‘week-outlook’ dialogue mentioned in previous post..So I don’t underestimate him either!! ;-P

@JB
I too use the same clichéd lines..getting bored of those these days.

@Seema
For me the luxury of onsite allows me unblocked net..i know its going to be tough when I get back to my company back home!!
I think to blog from work are like basic human rights…isn’t!! ;-P

@Karthik
thank you..

@Mishmash
Agent successfully traces down the suspect! ;-D
Sure take your time..that means we will have more recipes coming in for sure!! :-)

@Jackfruit
hundreds of mails..I get Atleast 25-30 mails in a single day…
Now that I have even learnt the names of like half the population of France and Germany!! ;-P

I always look forward to the day where I have no official mails in the box..forwards and personal mails any day ..ah!! ;-)

Shikha said...

Gosh. And to think I get just the very uninteresting "your ticket attached" mails from IRCTC! :P

My company has some age-old lore about mail goof-ups. Apparently, a very saucy girl was supposed to send a *strictly-for-your-eyes* gossip to her friend, which she duly ended up sending to the whole of the bangalore group - about 1000 employees.
I shudder to think of what became of her :).

Neena Padayatty said...

ROTFL..lost for words!Never had mailing mishaps so far.My grand mom used to print 'S.A.G'(St.Antony's Guide) on aerograms to avoid them getting lost...Maybe St.Antony might cater to emails too..:)

Neena Padayatty said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Thomas said...

The letter to ur bro reminds me of the film "My Dear Muthachan", in which Janardanan writes a letter replete with law lingo for his son Sreenivasan, donno if anyone 'member the film.

anN-series said...

forget 'template mails' sent out by Dad to me...most of the time he chats with sis n me in an interviewing manner(all thanx t the recruitments that he is doing!!). Eg of conversation had with him yesterday after dinner
"What can u with ur LLM experience offer a law firm in india?" "Has it changed ur perception about anything?" ...and yours truly answered them like a fresh graduate brimming with optimism!!

jj said...

lol!
"kindly send the details of accounts and transactions for the month of january 2008."
that one came from dad.

You can imagine, how is it like when you stay away from home and not very good at money-mgmt.

IRCTC and MOHFW... too good!

How do we know said...

you are guilty of making ppl laugh out loud in office.Not on.

usha said...

:D hilarious as always.

This is an excerpt from a wedding invitation I got by mail..

"The marriage would be consummated at Sadhoo Kalyana Mandapam, Kannur between 11:30 am and 12:30 pm. "

Sreejith Kumar said...

Another gem matts!!!!!!!!!

Have fun!

Mathew-Ur-Clge-Frnd-here said...

one of those bloopers on which i was part of the mailing list.."Hey its my b'day and come share the happiness.. please run and dip your hand in the choco cake in the pantry." But this she-colleague of minemissed the letter 'r' in the last word of the mail...

mathew said...

@Shikha
Lol!!..it has happened several times for me too..

@Neena
I have more of telephone mishaps than mail mishaps..mail ones can atleast be retrieved even before the reader reads it..

@Thomas
I have seen that movie..but cant exactly remember the story line…Will check out in youtube if they have it..

@Ann
Oh this comes from my Dad too…he is a princi in school..so that administrator instinct comes over him too at times..But duly ignore by children…

@JJ
.Lol!!.. So its all parents in the same loop…

@How do we knoe
Thanks.. :-D

@Usha
Ente ammo…that sounds like the wedding of a English professor..

@Sreejith
Thank you…:-)

@Clge frnd
Cant imagine the embarrassment from that mail…and that too on a birthday …ente eeshoyee…

Dewdrop said...

Thats hilarious :)