harassment of the third kind!!!

“Uncle..Uncle..Chekku Uncle ingottu nokkikkee(look here)!!!!!!“

The words pierced through and rumbled in the corridors of my mind. I was till the other day just “Chekku” or “chettan”(brother)..Off late I hear this new word attached to my name and intentionally spoken loudly by my cousin’s kids.. These post 95 era kids are calling me a “Uncle” without a scant consideration for my youth...I wouldn’t have bothered if they addressed me any other way..but calling me a Uncle!!!..Uh..that was like stamping the seal of getting older..

Till recently I could talk any crap in a family function and had the cushion of loathing’s typically attributed to a particular age group …“avannu oru payyan alle”..ee prayathil pellaru eke engane cheyuum”..(well he is young..at this age they are brats)

But now I no longer hold the luxury of a spoilt brat. I am no longer by default a unreliable and unreasonable guy..

My cousin sister put her 8 months old kid on my lap and asked me to just hold her for sometime.

I like kids ..when I was a kid we cousins used to play with a cousin sister like she was a doll. Not that we threw her away in the dust bin when we got angry or something, but we just adored her and we fought among ourselves to hold her…But now when I was actually pondering over grabbing a glass of wine I was told to hold this baby. How ever in their insane thoughts did they think that I have grown old enough to baby-sit for a reasonable amount of time. .What if I had a few extra beers..or if I tried giving a little wine to the baby. .just out of curiosity..!! Did they ever think of such highly possible scenarios..!!

And then there was this 8 year old chap who apparently liked the idea of me playing boogeyman (I haven’t yet figured out what is this thing called Boogeyman..Is it kind off batman or He-man??)..He wants me to scare him like every 5 min.. I have to throw him in the air.. do sword fight with a plastic Lego toy.. It is so difficult to convince him that I was more interested in looking at the beautiful Swiss chechi near him.

In 2 min..I hear another of those swear words..”Uncle..Uncle..ring a rosy kalikaam..”(Lets play ring a rosy)

Uh…another one. How could they perceive in their wildest imagination that I would do a Ring a Rosy with em…I usually rely on scaring the kids away when they turn out be irksome..
Recently I successfully convinced a 3 year old niece that I will roast her in boiling oil if she didn’t keep quiet!! Her parents wont ever allow me in the vicinity of this kid in the near future!!*evil grin*

The best trick to stop a crying kid from crying is to cry ourselves as childishly as possible..Seriously it works..I have often tried this out and executed it successfully.The kids generally become benevolent on seeing another kid crying just like em.

I seriously think the parent teach kids few things before introducing em to me.

This Uncle doesn’t like 7-8 year old kids(esp guys) who love to box on me..They think am a punch bag which is hanging just to receive all those merciless blows..Please do these kind off tricks on your daddy’s and Mummy’s..
This uncle likes kids who don’t cry and prefers those who smile always like in the posters..And if they want to go to loo they should call their mamma/papa and not me!!

Okay..I am ready to bear all kind off expletives you would like to call me..I am ready to withstand your fasincation for painting color on my face..or sticking maida on myforehead..But for Christ sake ..Until our age difference is more than 25 years you are not given the right to call me a ‘Uncle’..