Tuesday, May 03, 2011

Genesis- The true story

Place: Somewhere in Middle East.

Time: A couple of thousand years ago…

It was a weekend and actually one of the first considering the almighty himself had only recently declared it so… And after Adam reached home from work and plonked himself on the couch at his cave aptly called Legend of Rocks, he uttered what several billion people did ever since…”Thank God its Friday!!” But before he could grab a bottle of home made beer which he had carefully brewed, someone shouted from inside…. who else could it be...but Eve………

Eve: “Adam…Honey...lets go shopping...we are running out of fruits”

Adam: “oh…c’mon...can’t we just order it from heavenbay.com”

Eve: “you don’t understand Adam…we need to have something fresh…bio-fresh...could you just get ready fast!!”

Eve pestered and coyly managed to get Adam drop his weekend plans…

Adam: “Okay...if you say so sweetheart…”

Getting ready was easy those times as nobody had to change clothes after getting back from work. Life was so different from current times…Those days Man and Woman took the same time to get ready….But there was a minor aberration that day…

Adam: “Did you see my fig leaves somewhere??”

Eve: “Eh…why do you need them anyways??”

Adam: “I just get the feeling we might need em today!!”

Eve: “okie dokie…it must be somewhere...i ll get it”

After walking a couple of kilometers….they sighted a beautiful gate above which was written.…

“The Garden of Eden” *Today’s offer…Apples!!*

Eve’s joy knew no bound and she pestered Adam to the shop…But Adam reminded her of the fatwa issued by the almighty…But in an unprecedented move they went inside and plucked an apple. Life changed ever after. This historic shop lifting incident documented in a holy book gives insights into why women love shopping and men don’t.

Over thousands of years the fig leaves graduated to products from L’Oreal and wardrobes from Louis Vuitton. Men were forced to buy products from Gillette and had to stop hunting for wild boars under the pretext of wildlife protection. These drastic evolutionary changes also resulted in man adapting to the new way of life. God who was very well aware of the plight men were going through did occasionally make products like I-phone, Bluetooth headsets and play stations. Though I believe those were mere ploys to make men come of their caves.

I have had the" joy" of shopping (hic hic) with woman of all ages starting from kids, to friends and my mom. And each expedition only left me bewildered about this ritual called shopping and associated social conventions... The sort of magnetic attraction which effortlessly bring a lady close to a product at the shop shelf has not been construed inspite of widespread attempts to explain so...Infact Noam Chomsky considers it as the most fascinating phenomena and ranks it close to “The Big Bang Theory” among controversial topics of all times. So next time guys, when you go shopping with someone and end up bewildered thinking why it happened to you… Don’t try to fight it… It is a phenomenon which has been entrenched and perfected over centuries …right from the days of Adam and Eve… Surrender yourself to it....

13 comments:

Devil Incarnate... said...

Hahaha.. tat was totally hilarious, simply loved it!! Even adam n eve will b wondering whether stealing apple has this kind of consequences also... Gr8 2 c u here in ur form.. tc :)or

Ashwathy said...

Ha ha ha....thats a brilliant perspective...
Little did Adam and Eve know what they were setting themselves and the rest of the world for, generations down the line! ;-)

How do we know said...

NOT FAIR.. u know how u guys droool over the latest apple thingie.. a Jimmy Choo does that to us women. See, its so simple once u get things in perspective..

Nisha Aloshious said...

Goodness Gracious!!! This was so hilarious...I just can't stop laughing...seriously how do u come up with this kind of correlations I love it!!! :-)

Bindu said...

Ha ha ha, can't stop laughing. How did you come up with stuff like this? Totally love it!!

Btw, who did you go shopping with recently? ;-)

Jackfruit said...

If men liked shopping, they will call it research --> Somebody I dont know :)

Happy Kitten said...

LOL!

nd the "poor Adams" continue to blame "eves" for everything they succumb to. Thank the Almighty for those "eves" ?

TME said...

:)))) That was hilarious....

kochuthresiamma p .j said...

a fun piece indeed:-)
but men, they can never be delivered from sexism, eh?

Heera said...

hilarious....:) :)

mathew said...

@Devil Incarnate
hahah..i think all trends can be traced down to the Bible..:)

@Ashwathy
thank you..:)

@How do we know
LOL...you gotcha ya!!;)

@Nisha
thanks a lot..;-P

@Bindu
err...Who said Bible cant inspire..;)

mathew said...

@Jackfruit
hahaha...clever way to put it..;)

@Happy Kitten
hehe..Dont you see its actually complimentary that Men end up complaining only about such trivial things...;)

@TME
thank you..;)

@kochuthresiamma
:) well i wouldnt call it a serious case of sexism...My idea was only to write a fun post..but agreed sometimes there is an overdose..Personally i dont mind tagging along to the shop..;)

@Heera
thank you..;)

Priyankari said...

Your blogs are always so refreshing and relaxing! Very funny, loved it! :)