Warning: Long post and lot of malayalam
It has been quite a while since Mandankunju embarked on any of his classic world tours…Apparently the economic recession was affecting even him and leisure travelling was a strict nay-nay... But MK had enough of it and decided to break the self imposed cost cutting crap when he realised airline fares were getting real cheap…real cheap like in one rupee plus taxes…woohooh…It was time to catch the flight again…Godspeed!!
After a year he is a lot more wiser, refined, sophisticated and …………heck!!… you still believe MK would change like that…There are some people whom you can bet on never to change!! MK is definitely one bet you wouldn’t lose..
Mumbai international airport…..around midnight…
The hullabaloo in the airport was kind of disturbing for MK…the unfamiliar language…huge crowds….police ….Fortunately MK was accompanying a group of mallus who were also on the same flight to New York…They huddled together in a group, checking and rechecking their precious luggage….Sunny was quite worried whether the chakka plucked specially for USA would ripen too fast…He wants to salvage atleast the chakkakurus… Mattachen is trying hard to memorize Massachusetts and failing miserably at it. And ofcoz the collective anxiety of whether the flight would serve drinks was ringing like a thousand bagpipers in their ears …
And when the check-in counter opened, there was no guessing who were right in front of the alley. Infact Chacko had to be convinced that he already had a ticket and this was no Anupama theater where he would go through the trauma of taking black tickets.
The guy with the tie at the ‘luggage weighing department’ was in a particularly PJ-ish mood too..
“Name please…”
“Sunny Thomas! “
“And your friend must be?… Overcast Nair I guess...ha ha ha!! “
The airline official hysterically laughed for a few minutes until the jingle played at the airport reminded him how hopelessly outnumbered he was …
‘Will the real slim shady Nair , please stand up…please stand up!! ‘
After profusely apologizing all Nair sahebs in the vicinity, the junta was quickly given clearance and the chakka a fragile cargo upgrade…
A few minutes later the loudspeaker cracked alive…
“Passengers are kindly requested to board the flight LH612 to New York”
That was it…the moment MK has been waiting all along…To spend quality time with Kentucky appappan …To meet his school friends who had the green card when all he had was a humble ration card…To watch his favorite team Chicago Pothu in action …To hear his long time crush Sarah Palinkutty talk about climate change…the list was long..
After a long flight MK reached the huge metropolis where he was greeted by his old friend in school, Dennis. Dennis took him home and they had a great time laughing reminiscing old school tales…esp. on how bad MK was at Math. True to his agrarian outlook on life it was legendary in his village how he bought new insights to trigonometry by proving proving sin@+cos@= kaali@
However Dennis was impressed by his remarkable travel experiences…The next day he took him to landmarks of the most famous city in the world…Wall street…Manhattan…And by dusk they were standing right outside the famous New York philharmonic….
That’s when a guy sporting an odd looking suit came out of the philharmonic and stood near MK…
Eager to start conversation with the first american he met, MK said hello which was politely acknowledged…However eager to continue the talk he couldn’t resist asking him..
MK: ‘hmm…what you doin here?’
American: “I am a conductor”
MK (having lost all respect) :”uh…conductor aaa!!”
Mandankunju was immediately dragged away by Dennis..
Dennis: “Daa...he is the conductor at the NY philharmonia ”
MK: “Philomeniayoo …?”
MK: “ enthayalum conductor alle…paavam!!...vello vadayoo chaayoo medichu kodukaam*”
Now Dennis is furiously trying to pull him away..
MK: “ishe...atleast or 50 cents kodukaam”
Dennis was so desperate to stop further insult on the most famous conductor in the world that he took MK to the place where he was more likely to keep quiet…the restaurant…And they entered the first bistro in the corner.
After having a sumptuous meal at the French Restaurant MK even tipped the petite French waitress generously…
“”Merci ”
“ayyo alla…Mercy kottayamthaa..I am Tony…Tony kattapanna”
Well not surprising after the blunder he made in the Italian restaurant where he replied to poor Antonio who was showing the menu.
Antonio: “Bruschetta?”
MK (with all affection of a younger brother): ”entho chetta??”
Anyways the waitress took a liking to MK and mentioned her desire to visit India someday….and the chivalrous guy he was welcomed her to his home town too...The possibility that a madamma could visit him was so exciting that he even started giving the directions..
MK: ‘Get down at Eratupetta and catch St Antony which will take you to kattapanna’
Waitress: ‘St. Antony :-O ?
MK: “St.Mary’s would take you as well…but its limited stop and you will have to pay 2 rupees extra”
Waitress: “Jesus Christ!!”
MK: “oh…no...no…Jesus stopped running that route after a labour dispute”
*THUD*
MK: “Dennis ey.. why did this lady just collapse? I am surprised she knows most buses running in Kattapana!!”
Sensing the danger of keeping MK in NY for long, they start a pan-american tour…Mt. Rushmore….Niagara falls….and finally they reach the west…Surprisingly MK was quite unresponsive seeing the places and never did say “wow!!”. He was promised by Dennis that he would be shown the most stylish addresses around Los Angeles...Dennis was sure that this would impress Mandankunju big-time....
And they reach Long beach one of the most coveted residences in the states.....The huge mansions...and movie star homes would surely impress anyone....But MK wasn’t talking much...
Dennis (gloating): .“so...what do you think....“
MK: “nice..“
Dennis: “Just nice...?“
MK: “hmm...yeah...”
Dennis: ”duh”
MK: “see...Long beach actually means neendakara ...I mean it reminds me of Kollam“
Dennis (cant believe it!!): “oh please...........“
Dennis: “and so it means…“
MK: ”and so?”
Dennis: “and so the place i took you yesterday??”
MK: “Rocky mountains…yeah...that reminded me of Parassala!!“
Legend as is Dennis was so frustrated that he later took MK to the epicenter of the Meteor Crater in grand canyon and ran away as fast as he could …! And MK’s American Dream was cut short by the unplanned ‘pit’ stop.
* lets buy the chap atleast a coffee.
15 years ago
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