De-rail-eD!

The other day I was reading a tag entry from Neena where she mentioned about the urge to travel in a train…It reminded me of the great times as a kid when we considered train trips as the ultimate fantasy ride…Even the super fast air travel where almost every second soul seemed to be reading the ‘financial times’, is boringly devoid of a rustiness which so characterizes our railways.

Given a chance and plenty of time, I would always prefer the train over a bus. The train is something beyond a means of transportation for me, something that would conjure a more myriad motley of emotions, sights and thoughts...Wanderlust stuck and in poetic frame of mind, I love to see the sun setting in the backdrop of a mackerel sky that looks all so dutch…. as if in a water color painting done on the top of a blue canvas by the creator god himself..

And when the nature’s own canvas pulls the curtains down, you just rest your head on the window sill and gaze at the rails running parallel to your track…There is some kind of mystifying pleasure when the other track seems to accompany you in your sojourn...like a track buddy for life or something!. Some diverge from us after sometime, setting their own paths in directions quite obtuse from us…and some join us in our little trip, out of nowhere…The parallels between the rail tracks and our life are strikingly similar...

Have you ever though why we all prefer to sit in the direction in which the train is moving…even if it is an air conditioned coach?
Think, it sort of sub consciously motivates you to move forward in life...an urge to look what is beyond you, like as a kid when you strained over the window to see what lies ahead in the track…the station that was coming up next so that you can tick it of from your list of milestones.
And it is weird that sometimes I have an entirely different frame of mind if am sitting in a seat in a direction opposite. Remarkably, inspite of exactly the same canvas of trees, mountains and people, I find myself like a rewinding tape which gives the illusion of a world that is moving in a different direction...of everything which seem to go further away from me… it somehow reminds me of lost chances and a vague feeling that those images...the people and the sounds that zipped by me, never to be seen again..

The train has a rhythm of its own...Keeping the ears shut off from the rustle and bustle inside the coach and listening only to that chug chug , the music is no Wagner maybe, but very much likeable...Melody so machine but at the same time humanely trying to push your spirits in some transcendental way. If you remember those old B&W movies where anyone inside a train is shown swaying his head in a exaggerated tilting way, it looks quite funny now…But I think it sort of reflects the harmony and rhythm which we want in our life…the caressing sway, the lullaby of the rails and a destination is all what we crave for!!

Pic credits:http://www.flickr.com/photos/indyblue/80863847/

Eight!!..Ate what? or you mean hate what..

I was tagged by Thomaaslehaa who is one of the best new blogs i have stumbled across in my blog hopping routine…And it is indeed a honour to get tagged by a fellow disciple bro!! ;-D

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Rules:

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1. Each player starts with 8 random facts about themselves.
2. People who are tagged, write a blog post about their own 8 random things, and post these rules.
3. At the end of your post you need to tag 8 people and include their names.
4. If you fail to do this within eight hours, you will not reach Third Series or attain your most precious goals for at least two more lifetimes.

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And my brain has very little ideas these days that even a "bush" brain might look einstein like! , It is a welcome break to do a simple tag and here it goes..

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1) I can sleep almost like dead…My alarm clock was famously decimated by hostelmates once for waking up the entire hostel but me…and famously slept “Raa” shaped to avoid the water when some folks actually poured a bucket on my bed.

2) Generally I am not a serious thinker guy, but at times typical cancerian traits kick in and I get contemplative and emotional...

3)I believe , I have become a better person in the last 2 years...seriously!!

4) I love to cook food for people I like…It feels gratifying.

5) I used to be a hardcore news fanatic trying to catch hold of news from where ever possible..reading as many magazines as possible(remember week-outlook incident),. Somehow lost the passion over time. And same with cricket except for a one off match. nowadays replaced by youtube and blogger I suppose.

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6)I cant stand child abusers...there is nothing more criminal than that.

7)I am missing living at home with parents..and hopefully should be bringing them here sometime next month..it is very dreamlike for me considering I never imagined it could materalise...It would be great to feel like coming back home from office.(folks who do that..I envy you) .

8)My Polish wife says “Cześć Panią poznać” to you…and I guess it means “Czech panniyee puzungu”..or as she swears that it means “Hello..Nice to meet you”

Taking a break from the routine, I would pass on this tag to people who are a cancerian or an aquarian!!

P.S. It happened in office yesterday..My friend was spelling 'Funeral' to another colleague over phone...F...U...N...yes yes ..as in FUN!!

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P.P.S. There aint any like Madhubala these days!! :-I

Cuttingoo Shavingoo??

Hitler, Veerappan, Moses ... and a certain blogger.
Does it ring a bell?
Yes you got it right! People of remarkable intelligence, handsome, suave and having an efficacious mouch! Yes this is all about the grand moustache!!!
Well as a kid I remember the most common technique to scare me was twirling of the moustache by an otherwise harmless uncle, though last I heard they use scary H-rated cassettes (yes Himesh bhai). Personally for me, mouch has always deeply impacted history, culture and mankind in general as much as mamookoyya.

I recently came to know that moustaches and beards in spite of their profound importance have never been researched in a proper way. I hope to provide insights which might some day land me a 'Mathew hall of fame' or a 'Reverend Mathew Fellowship award ' or something like that…

Neways considering the air of intellectualism on mentioning different art styles like cubism, Neoclassicism and other such inexplicable 'isms', I thought of naming the mouch-beard styles in similar fashion. Well after all there is nothing more than such complicated incoherent isms which people love to claim to be holy thou fans of. My classification was however written in layman lingua.

HUSKY-ISKY-DOSTO-VESKY
Easily the most recognizable of all and sported since neanderthal times...You could have been the sex symbol among cavewoman if you had one of those...And in modern times understanding the several variations of it is an art itself. In various forms it could mean an intellectual...a homeless man or a lovable grandpa. Intellectually speaking, you probably might have heard of the clean-shaven guy who was not allowed inside 'The Socrates society conference on Freudian principles '. He apparently came naked per standards for the event as some human look-alike from ‘Dostoevsky clan’ later remarked. The intellectuality increased with the unkemptness of the hair and it is always a bonus if the hair is graying with wisdom or poor hygiene…either way.

For many others it is simply the brand USP…It is simply technically impossible to be a homeless poor man without a beard and long hair… Well on the positive side a more lovable and cuddly version of the Dostoevsky is found in Santa Klaus…Apparently no one would hate a guy who is coming in with those gifts…eh! Someone did take a step further ahead by improvising that look. Legend as says one old fella did go for beard straightening in an obscure Pune barbershop and voila got that charismatic look. Most people don't realize that when Osho tells you to sing Hare Rama Hare Krishna…he meant Hare in the rabbit sense as tribute to his hairy turnaround.

GUJRAL LE GOATEE
I remember the first time it got my attention when a major politician appeared on the scene. And security was so fool proof those times that he traveled around in 15 similar looking ambassadors and all that...Equally ingenious was when in public the presence of high breed Cashmere goats threw tantrums and kept those Osama's and bin Laden's guessing. It was not until several years later someone started appearing in television asking kaun banega crorepati did this style caught popular imagination.

GRAZED FIELD
This is the favorite of the current generation…We think that woman would find it hot and sexy although most men sport it because they are just plain lazy to shave everyday…I guess it became a trend with Hrithik Roshan sporting this style as many guys did try this out but personal movies turned out to be 'kahin na pyaar hai'.

L'ARTISTE BARBE
Very thick moustaches and well-cropped beard symbolizes them…Although many of them prefer 'Dostoevsky' style. The lips are invariably hidden deep beneath several strata's of facial hair as archeologists later found out…They bloom out only during auspicious times like while consuming food... Khushwant Singh of younger times was a classic example. The stroking of the beard in subtle strokes while talking to the press is considered as unavoidable physical strain for such people. Many a hairy tales were written by such writers simply coz it was frustrating to eat shahi paneer flaked with beard sediments.

AHAMADINEJAD… (P.S. this is not a CAT question, those complete the sequence types)
It is not classical in any sense...Because if that guy wore a check shirt and mundu he could easily pass of as a high school maashu at any school in malapurram...This retro style is slightly unpopular in United States though. In Malayalam lingo we would call it an alavalathi shaji style...

VISUAL BASIC PACKAGE
Most common these days...partly due to lack of hair and primarily due to new improved electric shavers... Important for doctors and IT specialist to give that niche look…Note that it could be fatal as recent studies have shown that most software engineers suffer from irreparable damages on the face due to 'hurry-in-the-morning-shave' syndrome. …Also it is an easy invitation to be called cute, ONLY if you are a Federer or Aamir Khan. Many a politician have tried to portray a clean image using the VB technique but have miserably failed…for example sake the first wonder in the list.

THE POLICE
This is found only in parts of India… Inspired by Bhima of Mahabharata and particularly intended to emphasize the friendly face of the police…I have seen many a policeman humiliated in association meetings for showing a benign face to the general public...In literary circles often used an antonym to the word 'cute'…Most common practitioners are narasimhams and valiyettans …Forest bandits do sport this look for pure academic sake.


KAMAL HAS'NT SHAVED
Not many have managed to capture it on frame, as it is illusionary in nature. As legend says Kamal doesn't recognize himself in the mirror at times. Not surprising why he has to have 10 passports while he was shooting for dasavatharam…I read somewhere Dawood does this too which got him a passport.

And I know what come in the mind …yes..yes..the moustache up there..
Well that is the symbol of impeccable style and glamour... ;-P


P.S. While checking about beards in wikipedia found something under Barber's guide to men's facial hair styles, circa 1900.…. Man it would have been real fun walking the streets in the 1800's… I would have had a hell of a time walking down the streets those days..esp if any mutton chaps or the Pork walked by..

P.P.S Itz Frietag…and itz party zong rammstein ishztyle… :-D

If hu dint like thiz..love thiz… Ich bin threatening you!!!

You have got mail!

Hello friends...it is the day we are all waiting for...Yes…it’s gorgeous Monday again!!…muhuhahuha!! . Sorry for the horrible cheer up buddies... it’s just another day when we open mailboxes like only a tad scarier than opening those report cards you used to get in school.

Unfortunately someone once said... Work is worship ...well, whoever came up with that atrocious line! .So that’s what I have been doing these days afterall. But thinking how much my life is influenced by work came as a rude reminder when I realized that all work and no beer…err. I mean play makes Jack a nerdy boy. Yes this is what happened the other day in another regular day mail which I send to bro.

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Dear Bro,

Kindly note that I am doing fine and in good health. I believe all at offshore are doing fine too.
With respect to previous reminders, it is regretful that I haven’t yet received the snapshots of the Chootuvelli function.

Also during the last drumbeat meeting with Appa and Amma, I have also been apprised that your bank balance looks very similar to my Math scores in school. Do let me know the quarterly losses incurred over the past months.

It is also my prerogative to bring to your notice the highest priority request raised last time. Once again a gentle reminder to save the copy of latest Salim Kumar flicks…

Thanks in advance.

Best regards,

CM

(Intentional BCC to Appa and Amma.)
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Dear chetta...

Kindly note that we are related to each other and I am apparently your brother. And also for your kind information, am still unemployed and am not used to reading such preposterously worded mails which you often reserve for your manager. I am doing my MBA and this is what we are trained for. Please don’t try mess into our domain!

I have saved copies of your favorite movies. Btw please let me know if you are still insisting on that “Adamvum Avvayum pine Njanum”. I still haven’t found it anywhere .Btw Is it K.G. George?

FYI…No “Thanks in advance” until my bank balance is refueled to respectable figures.

And for GODSAKE never ever send a mail from your office ID. They threaten you in the end with cautions and disclaimers. You know Appa and Amma might get real scared if they see that.

Cheers...

B

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As you might have noticed such mails are not entertained on our household and I was reprimanded for being out of touch with the real world. Communications henceforth were restricted to medieval means like making a phone call.
Whereas there are other kind of mails which causes disastrous results amongst peers. Especially when you don’t check with your ophthalmologist often enough.

Dear colleagues,

Pleased to introduce the new colleague in our team Mr. Kumar. His in-experience in Java, VC++ and oracle will benefit our technology driven products .I sincerely wish him all the best.

Friends, let’s welcome the new germ to our project.

Thanks and regards,
Badri


The last I heard was he tendered his resignation after writing a mail, which reminded Badri of his colorful ancestral roots. Talking of office mails there are mails though less harmful can still make you the butt of others jokes. Oops…Like this...

Dear colleagues,

I expect you all to attend the meeting and clarify all open issues. After the interaction with client I don’t want you to come up with any ifs and butts.

With regards,

Bhaskar

People ofcoz make sure to cover there butts these days before meeting bhaskarji…He still got to figure out why the do that..hic hic..

And there are mails that go to the wrong people altogether, which reminds of my friend who send the mail to the guy in IRCTC (http://www.irctc.co.in/).

Edi…

Nee aa ticket book cheythoo...nee ente vaysu kooti koduthu alle…hmmph..(You booked the ticket eh..and You mentioned a higher age for me..hmmph)
How dare you ....Am still 26 ketto….ithinnu njan vachittu ondu (am still 26...expect a revenge for this..)

V


V got the shocker of the mail after a few minutes. He underestimated the presence of malayalees in railways…


Dear V,

Kindly wish to inform that Indian railways currently don’t provide services to mediate family squabbles.
Please login request at http://mohfw.nic.in/ (Ministry of health and Family welfare) for such clarifications.

Yours sincerely.

Online enquiries department
Railways, Chennai division


Whoever told that emails are not fun should be spammed with a thousand enlargement, mortgage, bank of Nigeria and "save Pooja from cancer " mails. Please do share any interesting blunder mails you have come across or heard of.

Oh wait…OMG did I send that “My Boss sucks” mail to…………..