Thursday, July 05, 2007

It happened one stormy night.

Okay..This tag from SIlverine was supposed to be some real dark murky secret blow up. But most of em escaped with their illicit flings with animate objects like dogs.or inanimate objects like trees and lamp post’s…But I aint gonna do that.. Because I am cooooool… like Rajnikanth!!!!

First kiss..

Being the metro sexual dude I am, I don’t remember when I started kissing.. I was always the irresistible hunk from the day I was born. I remember the nurse gushing over me when I was lying down stark naked in the maternity ward of a hospital in Kottayam… But I waved the nurse a goodbye.. coz it is not legally allowed to do ‘it’ in our country until you are 14…

During my teenage I was literally suffocated with all the girls in school trying to kiss me.. C’mon it isn’t my fault that I was born as the piece de Greek god!!! But since I have to neway explain my first kiss. I ll admit that it happened quite recently..My close buddies who know me very well, I am sorry I dint tell you about this before…I lost my kissirginity!!…

It was summer in Hamburg and therefore an unbearable 20 degree Celsius…On that moonlit night..near Alster lake…I was watching the birds and the weekend crowd gathering around..That day after my regular work out in the gym I found that I had actually 8 packs instead of 6 packs which normal gym regulars have…I couldn’t sit on the plastic chairs near the lake fearing that I might damage them with my hard well toned muscles..How difficult life is for a well built hunk..sigh!!!

I was initially startled seeing a lady in saree in this foreign land. She was a holding a book. I just managed to have a glimpse on the title..’Midnight’s…’..err never mind…
Well as soon as she came near me her eyes got transfixed on me. Well it wasn’t happening to me for the first time and I ignored the glance. But there was something that particular moment which stuck me. There was this lady in her late 20’s or early 30’s wearing a very colorful Indian dress amongst the sea of white drab faces. I suddenly found that she was indeed beautiful. Then it was an instant chemistry. Almost like sulphur in water..Suddenly we found ourselves inches from each other. It was a kiss without a reason. Absolute bliss…

I grabbed her svelte necks and lifted her. She gasped for oxygen…oops the sorry part of having extra powerful muscles…I dropped her and we kissed passionately for another 23 minutes. Suddenly she asked whether I had a mobile phone with me.

She dialed some guy in Dubai and muttered something in Hindi..

“You are a satanic…”

And in a rage she threw away the book she was holding in the lake..Padma and I couldn’t bear to live without each other. We have decided to get married at Vaikundom kalyanamanadam..West fort..Trivandrum..All are cordially invited.

P.S: Although trivial the book she threw away was “Midnights children”
Her second name is Lakshmi…

In honor of those who have already lost their kissirginty..I dedicate this favourite song for you..


priya said...

metro sexual dude ;kissirginity!!…;
Hilarious Mat.

Your wedding in real?? or just another story...

Melodious song. Hey this post damn cute and your first few lines are amazing.

Someone shud tag u for blogger award for humor.

Srijith Unni said...

Well, now that they`re officially getting separated, you do stand a chance..!

All the Best..! ;-)

Neers said...

why? oh why... did i have to be subjected thus?? :p

*neat stuff!

rebel said...

lol... kissirginity!

Major Bollywood-style pun you have with throwing the book away! ROTFL...

Umesh said...

Oh how i wished you ended the story saying

...and we heard bells ringing... the calling bell as my milkman and newspaper boy was at the doorstep asking for money.


Ajith said...

kissirginity ..thats an interesting term .. Poor Rushdie would be hunting for u :)

Cuckoo said...

Ha Ha... hilarious one !!

And that term 'kissirginity' .. I am stealing this.. for some purpose you see. ;)

VIDYA said...

aww!!! noe tht s a nice post!!! hehe.
:-) y dont u dedicate some (un)satanic verses 2 her!!


VIDYA said...

@ umesh-------

ur endin is super cute!!!

Nariyal Chutney said...

Wow ,:) Such a nice way of kissirginity!!…;. You have exceeded expectations , mathew :P . Nice to see no body has been tagged , otherwise it would have been a call for more losing of "kissirginity!!…;" experiences :P

Mishmash ! said...

hehehhe...i thought finally u will say ...."thud! someone pushed me out of the bed and i woke up from my sleep and heard the alarm ringin'!! " :))
Boy, oh sorry, Man (since u lost the "kissirginty"), u re watching too much of youTube and bollywood masala :)))

That song was beautiful..

Umesh said...

@Vidya - Thanks :-)

mathew said...

No way.. Ofcoz it was just another story!!!
That song is from the movie “The graduate” and I love it!!
Thanks for the compliment!!

I swear. I had told not to go public with this...But she dint listen to me!! ;-P

Lol !!!!!!!!!thanks…

thanks.. yeah I failed miserably to make it sound real!! ;-P

No way…please believe me!!.. She is with me right now!!! Lol!!
Btw that was a nice ending to go with..

Well I need to be careful for sometime.. ;-P

Thanks…yeah I grant you the rights!!!!Lol!!

Thanks..well she likes to keep a low profile..and I told her to go for a lawsuit against her gets lots of cash then!! ;-P

@Nariyal Chutney
Well considering the turmoil I went through taking up this tag..I thought I ll spare the others…

mm..You got it watchin too much of Youtube…btw I demand more respect since I lost the kissirginity..Salman uncle am really really sorry!! ;-P

Di said...

ayyoo!! (assumin u understand tamil) idu ungalkee kocham "over" aa thonale?? :O

silverine said...

This should be titled "The Travails of the Single Irresistible Hunk" I am absolutely not surprised that Padma fell for you... taking you with her. She has just fallen out with Salman you see LOL!!! :p

Hilarious!! :))

p.s that song is lovely, had almost forgotten about it :)

gasmutai said...

orumichu padichappo ne ithre veliya oru hunk aanennu njaan manassilaakkiyilla chekks.. :-D
mea culpa

Venkatesh A.R. said...

eda chekku.. ur imagination has no bounds.. a very humorous blog!!
but where did u come up with "23 minutes of kissing"???? :D