kochu kochu mandatharangal!!

I have made blunders. I still make blunders. And I have immense self-confidence that I will henceforth make more blunders. Tough isn’t it to have such consistency these days when our cricket team is the only other thing that has such has splendid consistency…needless to mention of losing with such élan.

The other day while having lunch with German colleagues another one of my usual blunder happened. Being a pure non-vegetarian I was having ‘turkey’ for lunch. For gyan the Germans call it ‘Puten’. That was the only thing non-vegetarian, which looks edible to me in the sea of ‘straight-from-the-slaughter- house ‘ beef, pork and other assorted meat products. Neways rather than digressing let me come to the point. While having lunch we have a habit of discussing some global hot topics to mundane home stories... be it about Paris Hilton or Condoleezza Rice. And on this particular day the big senseless discussion was about the radiation poisoning that happened to the Russian spy.

Unfortunately for me on this day, I devoted myself to enjoying the meal and rather than showing off my grasp over all the world matters…Therefore rather ignorant of how the discussion was progressing I was quietly savoring my ‘turkey’ dish. And it happened that suddenly this chap asks me.’ So...What’s your opinion of Putin??’…Hey for me that fleecing moment, ‘Puten’ the turkey had a more significant presence in mind than ‘Putin’ the president. And what do you say when someone asks something like that?

‘ Pute(i)n is absolutely delicious...though is not hot enough for me.’

When I turned sideways after replying, I saw the one of the most puzzled look I have ever seen. Just like how Prez Bush looks like when he is absolutely clueless when asked about Iraq.

Likewise in the first few days in Germany I was puzzled when people used to say ‘choose’ every evening while I was going home after office hours. Dude, if you have to ask someone to choose something…you must offer something. But here I found all of em just asking me to choose something from thin air.
I hurried to my Indian colleague to ask if is some age-old German custom or gimmick to ask someone to choose something from nowhere, just for the heck of it. Finally gyan prevailed that ‘chuuse’ is how they say goodbye in German!!

Next day I had a field day blurting ‘chuooose’ the musical way they say..

It further reminds me of my Italy trip in which a colleague of mine went into a restaurant asking for directions to the town of Pisa. Only to be showed some delicious pizzas in the shelf. This guy has sworn to rely on maps further on…

After many experiences it was decided to rely on sign language to convey when you don’t know how to speak Italian. Some research in some god-forsaken university had proved that gestures could communicate a lot. They had found out that 78.32% percentage of ideas could be conveyed just by good body language. Digressing let me tell you that my employer gives me 1.67 leaves per month as per policy. How sweeter can it get! Maybe 1.67325 leaves per month sounds mathematically sexier!!!Swear on the guy who taught them the decimals?

Coming to the point my friend who was staying in a hotel in Florence went to the receptionist to check whether he can make a call. The skillful and elaborate gestures he made and the receptionist immediately understood exactly what he meant. My friend swears that he saw a bulb lighting up in her head (the kind you see in cartoons when ideas click) when she nodded that she understood everything he gesticulated She came back with a hair dryer and handed over gleefully to this friend of mine. So much for what the research says!

And many things still amuse me here. This buddy of mine who still thinks it is cool to come late for meeting apparently forgets that Germans have a penchant for precision and make sure things happen on time. They apparently grudge if people don’t respect time. They infact get impatient when the train is late by a few seconds. But this chap used to seeing apna Jammu Tawi express running late by days thought things work desi style here as well.

His German boss by now knew how slack our Indian friend was in reaching office on time. And one day he decided to give him a hint. So the conversation goes like this..

Mr. Schulz: Hope you are aware of the meeting at 10.30 tomorrow

Indian friend: With a sly smile. Ofcoz Mr. Schulz.I have marked it in my calendar.

Mr. Schulz this time in a baritone voice and damn serious.10.30 in the morning to be precise!!!

Now apna friend dint look cheerful like before!!!!

And some days back while standing in the bus stop a conversation happened between two guys both heavy smokers. Let say call them Marlboro Kings and Davidoff Wills.

Wills puffing vigorously.”Hey Kings… am concerned about the increasing pollution.esp in public places..”
Kings nodding sympathetically...”Yeah..David..Something should be done to stop this”
Wills..”I hate the non smokers who cough all the time around us”
Kings endorsing Wills and patting on his shoulders...”Bob. I wish the government does something to stop the noise pollution they cause”

neways things running as usual for me.I saw snow for the first time recently..Was so excited about it..I found it odd that people dint go berzek seeing snow..I was all fired up and enjoyed the moment!!

I am having blunderful times here...And I expect even more blunderful incidents to talk about..maybe when I become a old grumpy man I might write a book.’Mein Blunders’ :-)