warning:heavy mallu flavoured post
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"Every man is a foreigner, it just depends on where you are."
This is what Wolfgang quipped over lunch while I was telling about myself being in a country which till the other day was just, where a charlie chaplin look-alike came from . His remark reminded me how most people back home construe about desi people living abroad. Everyone gets to see only those pictures of beaming fellas with an Eiffel tower or London bridge in the backdrop. It is just that flimsy print which seems to connote the idea of a supposedly paradisal life of any NRI…Any NRI seemingly lives in a villa reminiscent of the visuals from “The Sound of Music” and dines the finest food picked straight from the Eden Gardens. I am not talking about Mittal’s or Kapoor’s, but of ordinary Kariachen’s and Susie aunty’s. …If the typical IT junta back home savors going to the best mall, the flashiest pubs and the chic eat outs…The same folks while abroad switch to Wal-Mart, Lidl or penny market, dines at Mc Donald’s or Burger king's (only if it was simply unavoidable) and would browse through nickel-and-dime brochures for shops having clearance sales…Agreed they are the extremely frugal types. But I have seen families settled here for decades, though not having the flashier of jobs (the so called computer people) doing the same. Every time this desi comes home with luggages of Lindt chocolate, premium scotch and perfumes with names like ‘Passion’ or ‘Exhilaration’, we forget that he probably haven’t even had bought these things for himself/herself. I am not saying staying abroad is bad or tragic, But still life is not as rosy as many of us think.
There is no dhobiwala who comes and collect your clothes nor any Pressing shop where you get your shirt ironed for a paltry 2 rupees and. there is no errand boy who collect groceries for you…Many such people who eke a living because of our laziness suddenly becomes worthy.
India is a land of opportunities, but still not enough for a billion people.
This is what Wolfgang quipped over lunch while I was telling about myself being in a country which till the other day was just, where a charlie chaplin look-alike came from . His remark reminded me how most people back home construe about desi people living abroad. Everyone gets to see only those pictures of beaming fellas with an Eiffel tower or London bridge in the backdrop. It is just that flimsy print which seems to connote the idea of a supposedly paradisal life of any NRI…Any NRI seemingly lives in a villa reminiscent of the visuals from “The Sound of Music” and dines the finest food picked straight from the Eden Gardens. I am not talking about Mittal’s or Kapoor’s, but of ordinary Kariachen’s and Susie aunty’s. …If the typical IT junta back home savors going to the best mall, the flashiest pubs and the chic eat outs…The same folks while abroad switch to Wal-Mart, Lidl or penny market, dines at Mc Donald’s or Burger king's (only if it was simply unavoidable) and would browse through nickel-and-dime brochures for shops having clearance sales…Agreed they are the extremely frugal types. But I have seen families settled here for decades, though not having the flashier of jobs (the so called computer people) doing the same. Every time this desi comes home with luggages of Lindt chocolate, premium scotch and perfumes with names like ‘Passion’ or ‘Exhilaration’, we forget that he probably haven’t even had bought these things for himself/herself. I am not saying staying abroad is bad or tragic, But still life is not as rosy as many of us think.
There is no dhobiwala who comes and collect your clothes nor any Pressing shop where you get your shirt ironed for a paltry 2 rupees and. there is no errand boy who collect groceries for you…Many such people who eke a living because of our laziness suddenly becomes worthy.
India is a land of opportunities, but still not enough for a billion people.
Many such professions don’t exist anymore in parts of the world where manual labor comes at a premium. I still remember being taken aback ,when I saw a 80 something landlady cleaning up her own home…She owns a couple of expensive flats here and is probably a millionaire as well…I don’t think it was coz she couldn’t afford one to clean up her modest house .It was the difference between us and the west…More than the color its our credence’s that differ…A westerner takes pride in being able to live independently however old he/she is , whereas we are tuned to believing that any person with white hair calls for help…Having a errand boy at home is equivalent to being slothful as they see it here. For most of us we think it is just creation of a new job or a noble way of sharing wealth to the needy or a new opportunity.
Being here in this country for sometime I have been lucky to be invited to several Indian homes or specifically malayalee homes...Unlike say in the United States; it is quite rare to find an Indian in Germany. and even rarer find a malayalee...As it happened once when a fellow malayalee saw me...he was like yelling at his wife…”eureka..eureka...One of ours...take out the camera..fast..”And the friendship with one family got me acquainted with the rare species of marunadan* malayalees in Germany. Almost like being given preferential treatment I was made to feel like part of the family of mallu Germans inspite of being a newbie. After every get together some one would even drop me back home. It was sad yet true that I have seen some of the best people of my own outside the state.
It also makes me sad at the predicament they are in. They might have come in the early 70’s with an ambition of making some quick money and then settle back home after a few years. But soon they had kids and they started going to school. By time they had made enough money the kids were in mid school and wouldn’t be able to accommodate to Indian systems. Now most of em own big farms and classy apartments back home. I almost pity at their dilemma considering that in spite of the sacrifices made to achieve these they are now almost a foreigner in their own natural land. When I ask these folks they say there aint anyone back home to go back to. Though that is just one of the reasons I assume.
I have noticed that usually when a person starts living in a new city be it Bangalore or Berlin, first you start to look at the place in the eyes of an outsider…begin comparing the place with your old place and feeling nostalgic about the good things of your old town. But over a couple of months you begin loving your new place and over a period of time start calling yourself a Bangalorean or a Berliner . It happened with me once when I was sort of passionately lecturing a French colleague when he said something wrong about Hamburg...later realizing that sub consciously I had begun getting used to the place . That is what happened to many settled Indians out here…Most of em didn’t plan to settle here in the first place.
Being here in this country for sometime I have been lucky to be invited to several Indian homes or specifically malayalee homes...Unlike say in the United States; it is quite rare to find an Indian in Germany. and even rarer find a malayalee...As it happened once when a fellow malayalee saw me...he was like yelling at his wife…”eureka..eureka...One of ours...take out the camera..fast..”And the friendship with one family got me acquainted with the rare species of marunadan* malayalees in Germany. Almost like being given preferential treatment I was made to feel like part of the family of mallu Germans inspite of being a newbie. After every get together some one would even drop me back home. It was sad yet true that I have seen some of the best people of my own outside the state.
It also makes me sad at the predicament they are in. They might have come in the early 70’s with an ambition of making some quick money and then settle back home after a few years. But soon they had kids and they started going to school. By time they had made enough money the kids were in mid school and wouldn’t be able to accommodate to Indian systems. Now most of em own big farms and classy apartments back home. I almost pity at their dilemma considering that in spite of the sacrifices made to achieve these they are now almost a foreigner in their own natural land. When I ask these folks they say there aint anyone back home to go back to. Though that is just one of the reasons I assume.
I have noticed that usually when a person starts living in a new city be it Bangalore or Berlin, first you start to look at the place in the eyes of an outsider…begin comparing the place with your old place and feeling nostalgic about the good things of your old town. But over a couple of months you begin loving your new place and over a period of time start calling yourself a Bangalorean or a Berliner . It happened with me once when I was sort of passionately lecturing a French colleague when he said something wrong about Hamburg...later realizing that sub consciously I had begun getting used to the place . That is what happened to many settled Indians out here…Most of em didn’t plan to settle here in the first place.
And this happens not just with a place but also with cultural influences. Most of the marunadan malayalees crib about the anarchic attitudes of people back home…Here I liked the part of both the husband and wife standing on equal footings unlike typical households back home where the housewife is pushed within the boundaries of the kitchen. Discussions happen with everyone during getogethers…not like circle of men discussing Oomen Chandy or a circle of women discussing the elopement of Annamma with Kuttichayan(that happened in Sthree roksham btw).. These folks enjoy currywurst and make excellent cakes as much as they enjoying relishing kappa and meen curry…Inspite of being expariates they have a mini naadu of their own..
These people are last of a breed…People who settled abroad long time before globalization...long time before IT. long time before internet. They took the best of both the worlds. Keeping traditions alive (even though I think it is harsh on the kids to expect to retain the same ways as their parents follow) and adopting virtues of candor and dedicated workmanship.. Now when I see some articles about some Brit or German visiting Kerala…speaking Malayalam or wearing a mundu and the media showering praise and singing hallelujah over the sahippu...I say we have been doing that for a long long time…in countless countries...and on a much larger scale… :-)
P.S.
These people are last of a breed…People who settled abroad long time before globalization...long time before IT. long time before internet. They took the best of both the worlds. Keeping traditions alive (even though I think it is harsh on the kids to expect to retain the same ways as their parents follow) and adopting virtues of candor and dedicated workmanship.. Now when I see some articles about some Brit or German visiting Kerala…speaking Malayalam or wearing a mundu and the media showering praise and singing hallelujah over the sahippu...I say we have been doing that for a long long time…in countless countries...and on a much larger scale… :-)
P.S.
Offbeat am reminded of anecdote which I heard of ammachi who came to Germany in the 80’s(wearing glorious chattayum mundum) ..It was spring time and while she was being driven home in a car she glanced outside the window and told her son who was driving ..”Eda…Babyee evidathe rubberil ella onnum illallooda..”
*marunadan = expatriate malayalees
