It’s all about exclamations!!

Recently I read in a blog the nostalgia of sending letters the old fashioned way, drafting a beautiful hand written letter…and then buying the post cover…sticking the stamp, strolling to the nearby letter box and awaiting the reply after a few days…Although I embraced e-mails, chats etc without much fuzz there is something which was amiss.

Technology has made things too predictable. There is no asking the postman whether any letter has come. Letters come in virtual mailboxes and the postman has now reinvented into a faceless pop-up announcing, you have got mail. No bated wait during the ceremonious opening of the letter or passing on the letter until everyone in house has read it again and again. Even movie tickets and rail tickets come online these days and you can even select the seats.

There isn’t the surprise factor anymore. Now why am saying this is coz recently my friend and his wife visited the doctor to check the status of their upcoming baby. This couple had requested the doc right from the beginning not to reveal the sex of the child. You see a little surprise factor when the baby pops out.

The couple as usual goes for the routine check up and enquires about the lifecycle status.

But this dumb moron of a doctor did this…

Couple (in typical ‘never-been-there’ curiosity): “Doc…Hope our baby is doing fine...”
Doctor:” Of coz he is doing great...Don’t worry about him... Everything gonna be fine”

Couple (in a collective sigh!!!): “Doc…You just ruined the surprise of a lifetime”

As you see like Newton’s law every climax can have an anti-climax…Once trying to be the smart Alec I have utilized anti-“get surprised” factor to disastrous effect. It could have actually cost Dad his job…This big sarkari boss calls home one day when am alone at home. As a précis I have real prank-friendly cousins who are masters at voice makeovers...And this time I tried to play smarter with my Dad’s boss whom I assumed to be one of my prankster cousin’s.

“Hello…May I speak to Mr.Mathew...This is Chettiar calling from Delhi”
“HAHAHAHA...ambada...ee number manasil irrikattei…sound maati patikaan nokendaa”
(Keep this trick in your sleeve…don’t try to bluff me by changing your voice)
“Is it dubble 55 dubble 66…..”
“mm..pinee...englishil paranjal manasil avulla ennu vachu alle”
(Well…Do you think your talking in English can cover it up?)

Promptly he cuts the phone. The satisfaction of not being gagged by my cousin was short lived when Dad came home red faced that day. Apparently the big boss was malayalee enough to understand everything I said and this humble child did definitely create a lasting impression on him.

Talking further about surprises, there is huge percentage of people surviving on fake surprise syndrome...How many times you have heard…

“Oh my Gaawd!!!...I can’t believe it!! “” people with wide-eyed expression of make-believe surprise.

The line is often repeated during parties when the guest neway is expected to bring gifts for the host…but the trouble is that the occasion demands you to get surprised. And the gifter may probably feel shattered if you don’t display that exaggerated version of surprise with multiple exclamation marks. It just reminds me of the surprise lunch at the office canteen where they duly notified us about the surprise one week in advance so that we are prepared to be surprised about the surprise lunch and that it doesn’t come as a rude surprise!! How thoughtful!!

Real surprises happen when you actually planned a trip or a movie with friends after strategically avoiding a few “pain-in-the-ass” types…Only to find them at the same place…

“Surprise...surprise ...What a coincidence...We changed plans and there you are…Maaan...you don’t know how happy I am for you!!!”
This will be followed by series of high fives and some display of brotherhood…
Meanwhile in silent eye-eye language we say...”Dumb idiots here as well…#%&!”


There isn’t really much surprise these days unlike school when I used to surprise parents all the time…But my idea of surprising them with single figure grades did not go down well… I thought that the shock and awe method of attack would work wonders and probably my poor grades wouldn’t matter much.

“Appa...You got to sign my Progress card”
*Appa’s eyes pop out in natural reaction to the display*
“You call this a PROGRESS!!!… :-O”
“Appa...Please do it fast I have to study chemistry between 5 and 5:30 as per my timetable” (contingency plan 1)
“What is that 3 besides Math…”
“Appa…err…it means like being third in class”
“And what about that 100 just besides the three”
“Whaa...whaaat...You scored a three in Math!!!!”
“Appa...the Paper was very tough...Moreover they were asking about ‘sin’ and all which you know I won’t do neways”
“What is that little circle beside biology?”
“aah...well that is the smallest living unit...the symbolic representation of a cell...”

By this time I have run out of all ideas and feeling ashamed like a fully covered Rakhi Sawant.

“Wait…i see some comments out here…”need lot of improvement...parents are requested to meet the teachers”

“ahh…That’s nothing dad...it is just that the teachers are trying to get the best out of me…they say that I have it in me to make it big. So that’s why they say that I can still improve…kind of motivating.. You know dad…and probably, they might just say something nasty about me when you come to school. But they just do that to relieve other parents who have bad performing kids...never take em seriously. I rock actually”

The geography teacher had taught me that most stars are millions of light years away and very difficult to see with the naked eye...But I knew they lied coz that evening after dinner, I saw them…millions and millions of em...ayyo…*thrash* ...ente Appa...Next time I ll score better…I promise..ayyo...bwwaahh..!!