Historical and Geographical Secrets...REVEALED!!

Unknown to the outside world there is a story long long ago about Vasco da Gamma who got a Work Permit and arrived at Calicut in his little dingy boat...

The following excerpt from the immigration office files in Calicut reveals what transpired on that day.

Immigration Officer (as usual enjoying his parippuvada and tea): -First name?
VDG (in all Latino gallantry pose): - Vaasco!! …Amigo...
Immigration Officer (a sreesanth stare at him): - mm....Middle name?
VDG (rest one hand on the officers desk): - Da!!
Immigration Officer (furious and pointing finger at VDG): - You call me “Daa”...phaaa!!. Do you know who I am? I officer of Malabar panchayat…Pre-degree…!#%&*#!*!!

Luckily his boss Beraankutty interfered and allowed Vasco da Gamma a 3-day tourist visa, which he used for visiting Goa. Later he was deported to Portugal by Indian authorities for over-staying. Being the first to get an Indian tourist visa he was proclaimed as a hero throughout the world. The existing history books however give a doctored picture of the whole story.

The problems in the immigration office never ended there...Years later when someone from the Middle East arrived to buy some spices to make palpaysam.

Immigration Officer (as usual enjoying his pazhampori and tea): -First name?
Middle East guy (adjusting his head gear): - Sheikh
Immigration Officer (as disinterested as ever): Shake what??
Middle East guy (desperate to impress the officer): - Sheikh Tintumon
Immigration Officer: Are u nuts!! ...From which country do you come?
Middle East guy (ayyo at the officers response): - Kuwait sir.
Immigration Officer (la Sunny Deol): You ask me to wait…You wait. I don’t wait…Out of the line potta!!

After sometime Middle East guy get back in the line.

Immigration Officer (now frustrated): O’ man ...You again!!!
Middle East guy (pleading): - Sir…Oman…our neighbour...I Kuwait!!

K-YOU-double YOU...!!

Now the frustrated Immigration officer calls in the security and packs him off to Saudi…

If you thought history is interesting, there is geography, which is overwhelming... I was always interested in geography and probably the only guy in the whole school who used to find delirious pleasure in memorizing country names, capitals..etc..etc Remember the kind of kids who would sit in the front bench waiting for the teacher to ask a question…

Teacher: - Who can tell me the average rainfall in Cherrapunji?
Bespectacled Genius me (raising both hands): -Eleven thousand four hundred thirty three millimeters Sir !…
Teacher (oh..even I never knew it.. ;-P): - Very good boy...You are smart as a whip!!

I sit down proud of the precise answer. After all a welcome change from the Math class where I usually have to stand on top of the bench! Unfortunately the rest of the class used to think...”Huff…whaat a bore”

If you thought geography is boring just look at the map and behold. You can learn a lot about the people just from the names. For example…Some countries are so arrogant even when they name their country …Like what is so great about Great Britain??…even the most arrogant people like us didn’t name our state as The Great Kerala...but we did come up with a Greater Cochin!! ;-P

And there are some downright funny ones. Greenland. .hahaha…Greenery in a place where people don’t even turn green with envy!!

Some names are difficult esp. for rest of the world (I mean India). My north Indian friend insists it is “Anda artica”…”Lovely Khanna… its Antarctica!!”... But the crazy egg lover wouldn’t agree with me...

Can you believe there are countries like Burkina Faso and Honduras who have capitals like Ouagadougou and Tegucigalpa...those are some serious tongue twisters dude. (I warn you never try pronouncing in the absence of a trained medical professional)

Geography can as well be used in psychology classes. Like if you want to explain what is Inferiority complex. You can say, “It the state of emotional turmoil when a Russian asks someone from Maldives to show Maldives on a world map…”You see the amazing possibilities with geography!...

Then there are something’s that baffle me like how the American kids learn geography. Just imagine how a 10 year old kid can memorize the name of 50 states and their capitals. Probably even the American president doesn’t know it either!! Those Yankees must be real envious of kids say from Vatican...

*In some school in Vatican…*

Teacher: - Which part of our country has the highest agricultural productivity?
Maldini: - “The kitchen garden in cute Monica’s house”
Teacher: - “Bravo…son!!”
Teacher: -“Tell me who is our head of state”
Maldini: - Pope
Teacher: -“Brilliant. Now tell what is the staple food in our country”
Maldini: -“Popcorn”
Teacher: -“Amazing...Tell me who is more popular in our country...The Pope or Shakira”
The entire class in unison…”SHAKIRAAAAAAA!!”(Oh baby)

Well over the years my fascination with Geography has left me dumbfounded as well… I happened to save the phone number of a friend of mine whose name is Kanagaraj…To label it as land number I put it like…

KANAGALAND
445566

A guy from ICELAND who was sitting near me makes out the first line and blurts...

“I have never been there before...Is it in Europe??”

*THUD*

“Oh...am really sorry ...Africa..eh??”