Thursday, July 20, 2006

Picture tubes,breaking news and midnight hot!!

“Satyam Siva Sundaram”...the classic doordarshan motto to the “We are the first to bring out the news” era CNN-IBN ...”The Heart of action AXN ” for the braver souls to “unplugged” MTV....we have seen it all!!!!

I have vague memories of television when broadcasting was still in its diapers and we were fed a staple diet of pre historic aerobics and yoga classes to news readers old enough to be kept mummified!! Those were times when I used to switch on television to watch the odd PSLV blasting off at some odd 3 in the morning or vintage Prannoy Roy’s “world this week”...otherwise it would be my favourite “giant robot” or holiday time “chutti chutti”.....DD sets were badly behind times and it became conspicuous once the private channels began airing flashy-glitzy stuff. But all was not bad...Sunit Tandon can walk into any present newsroom and read news in élan...DD has even got a good looking website with lots of color unlike the drab shades of grey that’s synonymous with them!!


And then during in 90’s the government said...

“Let there be channels and there came channels... a dozen of em”

And for the first time I began watching Star movies and “Small Wonder”. And a new found teenage curiosity resulted in fascination for the MTV’s and channel V’s...Should confess that I was awestruck by the micro clad anchors and hip-yep-rap style which was a culture shock for a small town guy like me. Cyrus Broacha looked like the coconut climber near my home...both wore shorts...and both had/were big “knives”.........So I finally began watching "NGC" and "Discovery" to improve “gyan”...But soon I felt woefully awful in the company of microbes...animals and extra sensory robots! To stand in good stead among friends I began watching new channels. But unfortunately our news readers sometimes suffer from severe back problem and a conspicuous stoop is visible while they read news in the “swivel-me-anytime” chairs. Poor guys they seem to read the news from placards kept a bit too far away...Years of watching news channels has taught me never to marry a journalist...You never know if they carry a hidden camera...Its eerie feeling that you are being watched!!

At some point in life I got curious about devotional channels...GOD was enlightening...Samskar was lightening...Trance...nirvana...bliss, words synonymous with spiritual high. But it was just some high decibel speeches and angrezi preachers! Recently my friend found out a new crop of channels...Sur sangeet being one of them. They play outdated music all the day and out of the blue they switch gears...”Over to Nagaland...”Over to Maharashtra”...”Over to Arunachal Pradesh” These are the “Over to specialized online lottery channels”...Sometime I wonder who ever watches these channels!!

If you love having a good laugh on a somber day check out “Oonkal SUN TVyil inthavaaram dub seytha puthan padangal”....... Kuntam kulukki annan kaathal panninaan (Shakespear in love)...Any dubbed English movie can be a laugh riot...Believe me I was laughing when I saw the dubbed climax of the “Titanic”. They can get ridiculously funny!!!!Old time favourite have become least sought these days. Wrestling (WWF) was craze years back and find it hard to watch it even for a few minutes nowadays. Some progs still gets me gaga. Tom n Jerry and Mr. beans any day!!

Have you noticed VJ/DJ’s brand themselves in “dial-up” shows? They wear shirts pinned up with rose flowers and then swivel back and forth about an invisible pole...Wow. They look cool!!!We have some channels selling state of the art “tummy reduction techniques” that can make you look “somalic”in 5 days and sofa-cum-bed-cum-carpet-cum-pool “ten in one” gadgets costing 20k which they courteously offer us for 3k..Very generous people isn’t!!.. Please call 1-600-5423-5555-2233 for free home delivery*...
*packaging charges 16k extra!!!


With 100’s of channels churning out every year, its is not far when we will be needing 5-6 TV sets to satisfy all couch potatoes...It has been a love hate relation with the idiot box....There are programmes that are lovely and inspiring...There are crap shows that can make you tear your hair out...there is enough gibberish and senseless talk shows. But this is a mad mad world and we have enough idiots, bigots, intellectuals, anarchists ... (the list goes on) who can hog the limelight!! And the world is not enough for em..!!!!!!!!!
And this programme is sponsored by............

18 comments:

afp763389 said...

:) lots of appreciation to this enthusiasm...

take care & good good luck

Velu Nair said...

Matt,

they had me jumping out of my pants, with the dubbed version of Predator on Kiran. boy! that was scary!

PS: dialogue-gem of the decade: athaa..aa 'saadhanam' nammale nokkunnu!
;)

starry nights said...

This was a nice interesting and fun post.remembered how there were so few channels and now too many even to count.I think it takes more time to channel surf than watch a program.

mathew said...

@afp763389w

Thanx buddy!!!

@Velu

That was quite funny man..Predator should have been a real comic affair!!

@Starry nights

yeah..Its tough for me to watch a programme at a stretch for more than 15 min it seems..loose interest in a jiffy!!!

Dew Drops said...

i just can't sit in front of the idiot box. i get thoroughly bored. anyway, this is an inspiration for another post for me.

Immigrant in Canada said...

my memory of TV in India was "rukavat keliye Ghedh hai".. That was also the first sentence in Hindi I ever learned.. Unfortunately by the time malayalam programs reached Kerala shores, i had already left Kerala..
BTW: Liked the meesa..

Rose said...

~laughs~

This was a gr8 post for a complete 'idiot box' freak like me.. As a child I used to idolize Tom & Jerry and Donald Duck (I just luv the way he speaks..). My fav TV show was 'Wonder Years'.. Now I spend atleast 2 hours jst channel surfing ...

Yup the world is not enuf for me.. And I'm Luuuuuving it... ;)

:D

..Me

P.S - Is it 'Little Winder' or 'Small Wonder'.. ??

mathew said...

@dewdy

ha..u are a rare breed then..hardly few escape it!!..neways waiting for ur post on it!! :)

@IIC

ROTFL!!.."rukavat keliye Ghedh hai".. that was funny..had almost forgotten that!!!..

mY mEEsHa roCks!!!!!!!!hahahaha!!
thanx to the roadside vendor in Ooty who sold it for 10 bucks..

@Rose

Still love watching "Tom n Jerry"..
me another self confessed Idiot box sympathiser!!!
oops..i got it wrong..its defintely "Small Wonder"..thanxs for pointing out!!

Rose said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
silverine said...

Don't even get me started. I could go on and on about my foray into the world of television. I miss those kiddies programmes from Candian televison that I would sit and watch on Star Plus (then an english channel). And I am glad that I it got over by 6 pm so we could go out and play..

Nice post.

Keshi said...

Im not much of a TV person but yeah loads of channels help with choice.

Keshi.

~*. D E E P A .* ~ said...

i dont have cable at home ... so , i still stick to whatever they offer on DD


btw , they used to have MTV on DD 2 from 4:00 to 5:00 pm everyday ... that was the best time .. there was Blossom too !

now , therez just DD News :(((

b v n said...

that was fun !

missing the pot pourri these days,but its all the same everywhere i suppose.In US there are some very funny spanish channels and yeah they have fox news too...that ones fun !

mathew said...

@Silverine

nowadays they have just for laughs in pogo..absolutely love it!!!

@keshi

less of TV as u grow up..now i have learned to love without daily viewing!! ;)

@Deepz

Wow..Rarely see someone of ur ilk these days...hey had been to wayanad last week..was pristine!!!!!

@bvn

You have to be really blessed to get enuf time to watch the idiot box..time has become so precious these days!!

LeoGirl said...

Guy H was not funny :) he stalked me for months till i threatened to get restraing order from him. I was scared out of my wits being followed everywhere and told that i was being watched all time

Sumitha said...

Wow!loved this post,lots of fun!

indianadoc said...

thanx for leaving u'r comments in my blog...You have got a nice flair for writing...good sense of humour and lot of realities....shall definitely come back for a more patient reading...u can definitely use my snaps but would like the source to be acknowledged so that people do not mistake me to have copied!

mathew said...

@Leo

Lol!!!..U could have hired private detectives to track him as well..or just call up NDTV for a hidden camera expose!!!! ;)

@Sumitha

Thanx for visiting my blog..ur blog is a feast for the eyes!!

@indianadoc

thanx a lot ..defintely would mention ur copyright!!!..
thanx for dropping by my blog!!