Thursday, April 27, 2006

Diary of a man lost in thoughts.........

My day began as usual and I woke before the sun...The iterative routine helped me wake up comfortably unlike my days in the ghetto where I was subjected to expletive showers if I didn’t wake up when the nearby lead factory sirens blasted. Those were the days when the cheap booze I had the other day left me with such hangovers, even the hardest of drugs failed to get me going...An just like any other day.. A rosary in hand I began mouthing out my affection and love to the almighty. It has been almost two years since the routine started and the ample time I had at my disposal helped my cause

Christ...I detest people who crib that they don’t have time for anything!!!

And then just after the sun began showering its glory. I took my rickety old steel chair and sat near the grills. A little bit of light is always good when someone sees dark all the time. Peeping through the iron, my eyes fell on the wall.. I had all the time in the world to dream....to stare aimlessly...to talk to myself......to ponder what’s happening in the other side of the wall...

A lot happens on the other side of this huge jigsaw of bricks and mortar. Eager to know I always make sure that my fellow in ghetto brings me the latest magazines whenever he visits me...My neighbor is as eager and his eyes really brighten up when my fellow comes..

Today we have a pep talk by the local priest ...And he says we are supposed to be the “chosen blessed ones”...its here we are supposed to experience bliss. The words sounded great but reality bites like some one said...Most of us got disinterested in a few minutes. But the priest kept blabbering a by hearted text...Just couldn’t help wondering how monotonous this was for him!!!

Back to my room after the insipid lunch am stubbing out the last cigarette... Amusing that it’s one of the most precious commodities out here and am finishing it with such ironic disdain....

It’s nice to be back in the garden after the short nap. .Its time when you see radiance glowing in other wise cold faces..And I see my little roses flowering up.......I felt a wry sense of happiness. Just like someone said in the movies “Something in life are best left unsaid....”

I used to have dinner at the ram shackle shed at the ghetto and my fellows used to bring me delicious food...They knew I must have been pretty hungry. It’s hard to bring in stuff for me during the day...Nothing is as excruciating as being on the run...At least here am enjoying the comfort of three square meals a day......

And then it’s dark soon. Its time people of my tribe usually work...Lying on the wooden bench my mind wanders to those days when I did a killing for a living. I remember all those bloody faces...myself getting caught by the local police and being subjected to mindless torture even though I had confessed my crime...those are memories however haunting it be...that keeps on coming...And now I look out through the rusty grills of my prison cell. And I see the stale dirty walls.... curious what’s happening at the other side...

I long to be free!!!!!!!!!!!!!